Ron Oliver
Peter Simpson
STARRING
Tim Conlon - Alex Grey
Courtney Taylor - Mary Lou Maloney
Cynthia Preston - Sarah Monroe
David Stratton - Shane Taylor
Dylan Neal - Andrew Douglas
Jeremy Ratchford - Leonard Welsh
Genre - Horror/Comedy/Supernatural/Slasher
Running Time - 97 Minutes
One of the oddest horror franchises ever has been the PROM NIGHT series. While other franchises tend to maintain a level of consistency on some level, this Canadian horror franchise’s only common element is that each film usually revolves around a prom, and appearances by actor Brock Simpson. 1980’s PROM NIGHT was definitely an attempt to capitalize on the massive success of 1978’s HALLOWEEN, even casting HALLOWEEN lead Jamie Lee Curtis as the film’s Final Girl. While a popular slasher film for its time, it felt like a standalone movie that didn’t necessitate a follow up. However, HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II was released seven years later, lessening the slasher elements in favor of a more supernatural/possession film that seemed inspired by both THE EXORCIST and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. Even though not necessary, HELLO MARY LOU manages to be more entertaining than the first one, making it the favorite for many when it comes to the franchise.
I guess believing that the sequel’s villain, Mary Lou Maloney, could be the franchise’s star, producer Peter Simpson and writer Ron Oliver decide to make her the focus again for 1990’s PROM NIGHT III: THE LAST KISS. That’s all fine and all, but if you’re expecting a true continuation of the second film, you’re not going to find it here. In fact, this is a weird sequel that wants to spoof itself to make the audience laugh rather than feel scared. The fact that it doesn’t even earn to right to even make that move at this point in the series, while failing at what it’s trying to accomplish for the most part, is even more baffling.
PLOT
After escaping hell with the help of a nail file, Mary Lou Maloney (Courtney Taylor) returns to Hamilton High for revenge. One night, she stumbles upon very average student Alex Gray (Tim Conlon) on school grounds. Instead of killing him, she seduces him and has sex with him. Having enjoyed this tryst, Mary Lou begins helping Alex with his grades and with his position on the football team to make him a star student. Even though he has a girlfriend (Cynthia Preston) who doesn’t care how average he is, Alex falls for Mary Lou and gets in a relationship with her. This benefits Mary Lou, as she has had to murder any teacher, counselor, or student in Alex’s way to make him look above average to his friends and parents - causing Alex to bury the evidence under the football field out of loyalty.
Unfortunately, Alex grows tired of being Mary Lou’s accomplice, breaking up with her and going back to his girlfriend. Not one to be dumped, Mary Lou decides to take revenge on Alex and his girlfriend on their prom night, making sure that no one will have him if she can’t.
REVIEW
Like HELLO MARY LOU, THE LAST KISS is inspired by A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. The only difference is that HELLO MARY LOU was inspired by the scarier early films in the franchise, taking the supernatural and murder stuff seriously to tell a good story. THE LAST KISS seems inspired by the more mainstream NIGHTMARE films [such as THE DREAM MASTER and THE DREAM CHILD], which were played more for laughs. But say what you want about those NIGHTMARE sequels - at least they tried to balance the comedy and the horror. THE LAST KISS doesn’t bother trying to scare anyone, treating the entire story as a joke that’s not all that funny.
It also doesn’t help that the script itself is not all that well-written. In fact, the Mary Lou character seems to have changed quite drastically since the second film. In HELLO MARY LOU, she was a pretty promiscuous and selfish girl who wanted revenge on those who wronged her by possessing another student. She took no prisoners and was presented as a serious threat that made that film entertaining. In THE LAST KISS, she’s a love-struck spirit who murders people because she feels it’ll please her living boyfriend. And when he dumps her, she feels scorned. She never cares about being Prom Queen or murdering whoever else was at the scene of her death. She’s that bitchy and clingy ex-girlfriend that made you start screening your phone calls and start thinking about that restraining order. And like Freddy Krueger, she quotes one-liners that pertain to her particular murders. But they seemed forced rather than natural, which is a credit to Robert Englund more than anything else. Actress Courtney Taylor doesn’t have the ability to deliver lines like that, making the jokes seem flat.
Even worse is that our main “hero”, Alex, is pretty much an unlikable prick. He’s a pre-med student who is pretty much an underachiever. He has a beautiful girlfriend who loves him, yet wastes no time in cheating on her with a dead person. And when said “dead person” murders people for him, he sees it as no big deal until he’s tired of burying the bodies for her. At one point, Alex even admits that he enjoyed what he was doing with Mary Lou without a sense of guilt. What’s worse is that no one even punishes him for his actions. His girlfriend never finds out. His best friend just shrugs it off. Alex never learns his lesson from the acts he has committed. Nothing about this character is worth rooting for. So why should I care about who I’m watching PROM NIGHT III for?
The screenplay does have its moments though. As sophomoric as they are, the announcements on the school loudspeaker did make me chuckle. For example, one states: “Today’s chess tournament has been cancelled; members are asked to report to the library to play with themselves.” It’s dumb but it got a reaction out of me. There’s also a terrible hip-hop rap song that’s so bad, I couldn’t stop laughing at how atrocious it was. And the final act, while bizarre and ending flatly, has some decent touches of character for those involved. I also found it amusing that a Canadian production tried so hard to be American. Maybe Canadians find sex on American flags erotic, I don’t know. But at least it was memorable.
The special effects, while not the greatest, do at least help elevate the film somewhat. We get an electrocution via jukebox. We get a pretty gnarly death involving ice cream cones through the hands and a blender through the skull. Someone melts via battery acid in a decent effect. Another person gets impaled by a metal football through the chest. A heart gets punched out. And we get a drill through the skull. The make-up effects, especially Mary Lou’s burn scars, look absolutely horrible - as if someone dripped pancake batter on her face and decided that was a cool effect. Unfortunately, you can only get the cool looking gore effects in the Uncut Version of the film. Otherwise, you’ll barely see most of them in the regular version - which won’t help making the viewing experience a little better.
The direction by Ron Oliver & Peter Simpson prove that a screenwriter and producer shouldn’t visually present a film. Even though I believe this was slated for a theatrical release, PROM NIGHT III ended up going straight to video [at least in the United States]. And boy, does this look like a straight-to-video film! Considering Oliver & Simpson had a hand in producing HELLO MARY LOU, which looked pretty great, it’s a shock how cheap this sequel looks. It looks and feels like a TV movie but with more elaborate effects. Nothing about the direction is worth discussing. There’s a scene with one of those 50’s student films that should look retro, but looks like everything else presented in the film. And there’s a hilarious scene with a visible boom mic in a kitchen. Otherwise the film is just there, which what a horror sequel shouldn’t feel like. It’s a long time where I’ve watched a film and I have absolutely nothing to say about the visual presentation. It’s not scary. It’s not even funny. It just exists. It’s watchable. That’s the most I can go with this.
THE FINAL HOWL
SCORE
1.5 Howls Outta 4
