2.11.2021

Bad Channels (1992)

DIRECTED BY

Ted Nicolaou


STARRING

Paul Hipp - Dan O’Dare

Martha Quinn - Lisa Cummings

Aaron Lustig - Vernon Locknut

Ian Patrick Williams - Dr. Payne

Charlie Spradling - Cookie

Robert Factor - Willis

Roumel Réaux - Flip Humble

Rodney Ueno - Moon


Genre - Comedy/Horror/Science Fiction/Music/Aliens/B-Movie


Running Time - 88 Minutes



PLOT

An alien determined to capture human females takes over a radio station to do it.


REVIEW

It’s been a long time since I’ve reviewed a Charles Band produced film, but here we are with BAD CHANNELS - one of the oddest horror/sci-fi films I’ve seen in a while. I shouldn’t have been surprised since it was directed by TERRORVISION and SUBSPECIES director Ted Nicolaou - two films I really need to rewatch since they’re both pretty rad. BAD CHANNELS isn’t as good as either of those two films, but it has some moments within its short 88-minute runtime. 


BAD CHANNELS may be one of the easiest, or maybe one of the more difficult, films to give a full review to because there’s really not much to the film. It has aliens [or one alien and his robot companion] invading a radio station and using music to lure hot women into tiny jars… to kidnap them I guess? The film never really makes it clear why these aliens are manipulating women into jars, which is a big issue in itself. The film also has news reporters who are obsessed with the radio station’s DJ [I guess he’s a big deal in this town]. But other than that, there’s not much else going on. 


The main purpose for this film doesn’t seem to be about the alien invasion, but to promote unknown rock bands for the Full Moon Entertainment audience. After some research, I learned that these bands were signed to Moonstone Records, which is owned by Full Moon Entertainment. To be honest with you, the music nor the videos are anything memorable enough for me to rush out and buy the bands’ music. The videos use the movie locations. One is inside of a diner. The other is in a school gymnasium. And the other is in a hospital. They’re not really directed all that flashy or in an MTV-style at the time. I will say that the last song, this metal song with clowns, was actually pretty good and made use of the horror genre element. And while the videos themselves aren’t directly all that interestingly, having the female victims being shown in reality dancing to music no one else can hear [while the people around them look on curiously and disturbingly] is a nice touch and shows that these videos are nothing but illusions in the victims’ minds. But honestly, the film doesn’t have much of a plot and it seems BAD CHANNELS was more focused on getting these unknown bands some notoriety that probably never happened.



The characters aren’t all that likable either, even though they all seem to have personalities that separate them from others. DJ Dan O’Dare is a manic Lothario who is pretty much the narrator of what’s going on with the aliens inside of the studio, since he’s trapped there. He has unresolved sexual tension with ace reporter Lisa Cummings, who is kind of a bitch and snotty - making me wonder why Dan would be interested in her. The cops are clueless. Lisa’s news channel bosses want to take advantage of the situation and use Lisa to make themselves bigger than her. The doctors are clueless. The aliens’ victims are ditzy, ignorant, or just plain dumb - mainly getting ahead in life due to their hot looks. Besides Dan really, none of the other characters make much of an impression character wise. 


I will give a lot of credit to the creature designs in BAD CHANNELS though. The film is obviously using a cheap budget, but the filmmakers make the most of it. The main alien is pretty much a dude dressed in black pleather, while wearing a giant boulder for a head that looks like a Jiffy Pop with a clear visor in the middle so they can see. The robot has google eyes while wearing a clear bowl on its head that reminded me of Bill Moseley in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3. We also get this green gunk that grows like fungus, which also happens to move if music plays nearby. And we also get this three headed plant monster that Audrey II would laugh at, but it doesn’t look too bad. And the effects of the girls inside these tiny jars is done well and believable. 


I even thought the direction by Ted Nicolaou wasn’t too bad, besides the music videos that ruin the film’s pacing a bit. The film looks like your standard 90s straight-to-video fare, but a better-than-average looking one. The film moves quickly. The special effects are used sparingly and presented well. It looks and feels like a Full Moon Entertainment B-movie, which is the exact point. Nicolaou also connects the film with the DOLLMAN series as well, which is a nice touch for fans of that series.



The acting isn’t anything great, but the cheesiness of it entertained me more than it should. Paul Hipp is probably the “best” actor, as he’s given the most to do and carries the film pretty well. He has a manic energy and his descent into madness while being taken hostage by weird aliens is pretty amusing. Original MTV VJ Martha Quinn is okay in her role as reporter Lisa. She plays bitchy well, but doesn’t really get much to do but stare, look confused, and carry a camera to shoot footage. The other actors play their roles as goofy and silly as possible, which works well with this type of movie. The actresses who become alien victims play the video vixen roles well and make their ditzy roles fun to watch. I was honestly expecting worse when it came to the acting, but the hamming and being aware of what film they were in helped the entertainment value.


And I have to mention the cool Blue Oyster Cult score, which is a pretty big get for Full Moon Entertainment. Sure, the band wasn’t as popular as they were in their heyday during the 70s and early-80s, but it’s cool to have a solid band working on your movie. I dug what they brought to the table and the film is probably worth watching just for the score alone.


THE FINAL HOWL

BAD CHANNELS is an odd movie that seems to exist to promote three unknown rock/metal bands rather than tell an interesting story about aliens invading a radio station to shrink hot women into glass jars for whatever reason. It’s unfortunate since the music videos aren’t all that interesting or memorable to watch, leaving us with a sci-fi/horror-comedy that barely has a plot and doesn’t explain what is happening to many of these characters at all. We don’t know why these aliens came to this particular town. We don’t know why these aliens are shrinking beautiful women into glass jars. All we get are some pretty unlikable or silly characters that become less amusing as the film goes.


That being said, the special effects are pretty well done considering the film’s small budget. The hammy and cheesy acting is more entertaining than it has any right to be. Director Ted Nicolaou’s direction is more than passible and keeps BAD CHANNELS at a good, short pace despite these random music videos ruining the flow somewhat. And the score by rock legends Blue Oyster Cult is pretty rad and quite an impressive get for this film. It looks like a Full Moon Entertainment feature. And it feels like a Full Moon Entertainment feature. BAD CHANNELS is a film that pretty much met my low-to-average expectations and is only worth a look for anyone who enjoys Charles Band produced movies [especially the DOLLMAN series, which this film is slightly connected to]. Otherwise, stick with the much better SUBSPECIES or TERRORVISION for your Ted Nicolaou fix.



SCORE

2 Howls Outta 4



1.26.2021

Amityville: The Evil Escapes (1989)

DIRECTED BY
Sandor Stern


STARRING

Patty Duke - Nancy Evans

Jane Wyatt - Alice Leacock

Fredric Lehne - Father Kibbler

Norman Lloyd - Father Manfred

Peggy McCay - Helen Royce

Brandy Gold - Jessica Evans

Zoe Trilling - Amanda Evans

Aron Eisenberg - Brian Evans


Genre - Horror/Supernatural


Running Time - 95 Minutes



PLOT

The demonic force lurking in Amityville for over 300 years escapes to a remote California mansion. It encounters a struggling family living together by uncertain means. The beast manipulates a little girl (Zoe Trilling) by manifesting itself in the form of her dead father. Soon it will be able to possess her completely… is it too late for a young priest (Fredric Lehne) to defeat the demon and end the curse?


REVIEW

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a film from THE AMITYVILLE HORROR franchise, probably because there’s like 20 of these movies in the series and I’ve only been a fan of the two [of the four] that I’ve watched. I’ve always made it clear that I find the 1979 original to be a dull piece of horror, preferring the 2005 remake over it because it does more with the story. 1982’s AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION is probably the best of the films I’ve watched [and it seems to be the best of all of them, if you believe the consensus], while 1983’s AMITYVILLE 3-D was just a bad flick that existed only for 3-D effects that weren’t great to begin with. So I put the franchise out of sight and out of mind for a while.


Then out of the blue, I stumbled onto Amazon Prime and noticed a bunch of the AMITYVILLE films were free to watch. I read the description for 1989’s AMITYVILLE: THE EVIL ESCAPES [which I’ll call AMITYVILLE 4 for the rest of the review] and I found myself intrigued. Former TV star Patty Duke in a horror film? A lamp that possesses and kills people? A story that doesn’t take place inside the Amityville House? I figured I could at least give another film in this franchise a chance to see why so many of these damn films were made.


So after 90 minutes, I’m still wondering why over 20 of these films have been made, with more probably coming. But while AMITYVILLE 4 isn’t a good movie in the slightest, at least it had me laughing unintentionally - which is more than I could say for the first and third films. I couldn’t help but be entertained by this dumb movie.


AMITYVILLE 4 is a film that was made for television, since the previous installments, besides the first one, didn’t really make that much of a dent at the box office. It’s also apparently the first film in the series that focuses more on an object that was inside of the infamous house instead of the house itself. That makes sense, considering that having families dealing with a possessed house was probably getting old fast. It also helps the television limitations in terms of budget as the scares only need to focus on a single object than a huge house. And despite the high definition of the transfer I watched [the film does look better than it probably ought to], you can definitely tell it was made for TV with its less than stylish direction, cheap special effects and melodramatic acting that won’t wow anyone. It’s not entirely a bad thing, since I personally find charm in things like this. But it’s definitely a step down from the previous installments, as the budget allows more drama but not enough horror to match the earlier films.


AMITYVILLE 4’s issue really stems from the script. It’s honestly just a retread of earlier supernatural movies dealing with demons and possession. A vulnerable child, who is grieving her father’s passing, succumbs to this evil, demonic lamp and becomes possessed by it. The demon possessing the lamp also makes her believe that her father is speaking through the lamp, building her attachment and addiction to it. That’s a perfectly fine setup, but it never goes beyond that. There’s no character study or anything psychologically thrilling about it that’s all that memorable. It doesn’t help that the other characters are oblivious to it, or even oblivious to things that just happened seconds prior before just forgetting they happened and never bringing them back up again. The characters are also pretty forgettable themselves, or just plain unlikable. I honestly couldn’t feel for any one in this film besides Father Kibbler [the only one with a real story arc], which made all the weird stuff happening around these people the more entertaining and laughable. 

The film also didn’t have the guts to hurt any of the main cast really, relying on bringing in random people [plumbers, electricians, etc.] to build the film’s body count. These characters die or get hurt in silly ways - like getting a hand mutilated by a possessed garbage disposal or a pipe bursting in cartoonish effect to leak this black goo that drowns a trapped plumber. The only character of note that bites the dust is the housekeeper, who almost gets murdered by a possessed chainsaw handled by the family’s son, but unfortunately meets her fate by being strangled by the possessed lamp’s plug wire in the attic.


Speaking of this lamp, am I [or anyone else] supposed to be afraid of this thing? It’s an ugly lamp that belongs on the set of 1985’s RETURN TO OZ. When the demon shows his face on the lamp’s huge bulb, it’s more hilarious than frightening. And this lamp can do a whole lot without being plugged in - like hiding telegrams for the rest of the film, making electronically equipment and utilities go crazy, and even telepathically driving an empty car away from the property for some unexplained reason. It also kills people with tetanus, which is a rare way to murder someone in a horror film I guess. At least with a haunted house, you can have the walls bleed and flies appear on windows and stuff. When it shouts “Get out!” at you, being trapped inside is the last thing you want. A lamp is a lesser evil, even if it can do similar things since it came from the possessed house to begin [which wasn’t destroyed, negating the events of AMITYVILLE 3-D]. I feel like this type of story would have lended itself better to an hour-long television series, like a Friday the 13th: The Series or Tales From the Darkside. The story would have moved faster and gotten to the point quicker. Even the film’s conclusion is kind of lame, as things get resolved way too quickly considering everything that happened before the final act. Ninety minutes doesn’t do a whole lot for me, since a lot of it is just uninteresting family drama and filler.


The direction by Sandor Stern, who was a writer on the original 1979 film, is passable. Stern doesn’t provide a ton of style in terms of visuals. AMITYVILLE 4 looks like a TV movie. It feels like a TV movie. You can tell where ad breaks were probably edited in during its presentation on NBC at the time. The only thing flashy about the film are the cheap effects when it comes to the lamp and its powers. You get the standard blood on the walls and floor, flies buzzing around, and usual demonic activity presented in the first film - but on a cheaper budget. From what I read, Stern didn’t shoot the gorier scenes in the home video release, as NBC wouldn’t allow that stuff at the time. It’s funny because those moments actually help AMITYVILLE 4 be more entertaining than it has any right to. So thanks for the secret NBC Studios director who added those scenes in! It was appreciated. But there’s nothing terrible about Stern’s direction, but it’s not spectacular either. It’s exactly what you would expect.


The acting isn’t spectacular either. Patty Duke is an odd choice to star in an AMITYVILLE film. She’s in a horror film but she’s acting as if she’s in a dramatic Lifetime movie. Jane Wyatt seems to be having a bit more fun as a snooty grandmother who plays it passive aggressively against her on-screen daughter Duke. Brandy Gold just screams, sulks and tries to act evil as youngest daughter Jessica. Zoe Trilling and Aron Eisenberg don’t get to do a whole lot but play confused and concerned children. Fredric Lehne is the only one who gets the real good dialogue and handles it better than he should, considering the ridiculous things he has to say. It’s not the worst cast and they all have memorable things in the film worth a laugh or two during the movie’s runtime. A better script would have brought out more, but I’m not expecting that from an AMITYVILLE sequel. 


THE FINAL HOWL

AMITYVILLE: THE EVIL ESCAPES is the first sequel in the series to go straight to television and it shows. The film doesn’t hide it budgetary limitations, looking and feeling like a TV movie with cheap special effects that are more funny than scary. The story is nothing original, pretty much rehashing elements of the previous installments with the only difference is that a lamp is possessing people and causing havoc rather than a haunted house. Sandor Stern, a writer for the original THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, does a passable job visualizing and directing the narrative within a made-for-TV format, while the actors [led by Patty Duke and Jane Wyman] do the best they can with the material they’re given. To be honest, this story would have lent itself better to a television anthology format - like a Friday the 13th: The Series, Tales From the Darkside or something like that. All in all, it’s not a good film but it had unintentionally funny moments that entertained me more than I thought it would. Definitely more fun to watch than AMITYVILLE 3-D, but nowhere the level of AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION. I’ll continue through this series to see if there are any surprise gems within, or to be possessed by masochism if they just go downhill from here.



SCORE

2 Howls Outta 4



1.10.2021

Absentia (2011)

DIRECTED BY
Mike Flanagan 


STARRING

Katie Parker - Callie Russel

Courtney Bell - Tricia Riley

Dave Levine - Det. Ryan Mallory

Justin Gordon - Det. Lonergan

Morgan Peter Brown - Daniel Riley

Doug Jones - Walter Lambert


Genre - Horror/Mystery/Thriller


Running Time - 92 Minutes



PLOT

Tricia’s (Courtney Bell) husband Daniel (Morgan Peter Brown) has been missing for seven years. Her younger sister Callie (Katie Parker) comes to live with her as the pressure mounts to finally declare him ‘dead in absentia’. As Tricia sifts through the wreckage and tries to move on with her life, Callie finds herself drawn to an ominous tunnel near the house. As she begins to link it to other mysterious disappearances, it becomes clear that Daniel’s presumed death might be anything but ‘natural.’ The ancient force at work in the tunnel might have set its sights on Callie and Tricia - and Daniel might be suffering a fate far worse than death in its grasp.


REVIEW

While he had directed some independent films prior to this film, 2011’s ABSENTIA was Mike Flanagan’s breakthrough film into the mainstream success he has now. I’ve known about this film for a while, but never took the chance to sit down and actually watch it despite all the praise it has received the past 10 years. In fact, I haven’t watched much Flanagan stuff at all besides 2013’s OCULUS [good] and 2019’s DOCTOR SLEEP [loved] - as well as his 2016 Haunting of Hill House Netflix series that I enjoyed. So it was cool to see where the director started from before given a real budget to really showcase his vision that he’s known for now.

ABSENTIA is a real slow burn of a film, taking its time to build a supernatural psychological thriller that honestly presents more questions than answers by the film’s final second. The slow pace obviously lets the two lead characters, pregnant and mourning wife Tricia and her addict sister Callie, carry the film with emotional and dramatic beats as they deal with the events of the narrative. Both try to use religion to deal with their grief and demons, which doesn’t exactly work all that much by the end. Tricia tries to move on from the fact that her missing husband has been gone 7 years and can be declared legally dead by getting involved with the lead detective for the case, even getting pregnant by him. Callie also comes across strange, malnourished people inside a tunnel minutes by Tricia’s home, leading to strange happenings inside of Tricia’s home. Things take a turn when Tricia finally has a first date with her detective lover, only for her missing husband to return the moment she leaves the house. This should be a joyous occasion, except that the husband is malnourished, confused and acting weird to the point that he doesn’t seem himself anymore. Things just get weird after that, but I don’t want to spoil anything for those who haven’t watched.


While the slow burn and ride from beginning to end is never boring and actually contains some creepy moments, I feel like the film never really tells you anything. Yes, we see people grieve over their missing loved ones, struggling to move on thinking they’ll never return after so many years. We also see people sacrifice their own well-being to help another person who is struggling, only for it to bite them in the butt when past demons are used against them. There are a lot of human elements here that work and the drama is well written and presented nicely. But we never really learn why people in this particular area of town have gone missing for decades. We see glimpses of the culprits but never really learn who, or what, they are. And while the ending is a bit sad and unsettling, it doesn’t really answer anything either. I guess sometimes it’s good not knowing what the real deal is, but an audience should be given something tangible to chew on in a standalone feature. A film or a story shouldn’t leave one with more questions than answers.


I also thought the characters weren’t the most interesting or deep. Considering there are only a handful of main characters in the film, I would know or even care more about them. Tricia mourned her missing husband, but when there’s nothing about their relationship that makes me want to invest in this subplot beyond the mystery behind it, that’s kind of an issue. There are other moments where opportunities arise for more depth to happen, but the film would rather keep things on the surface than to get any deeper than that. Maybe it was a budgetary issue. Maybe it was just average writing. But mysteries should be explored and I feel ABSENTIA didn’t do that enough for me.

As for Flanagan’s directing, the first thing that should be said is that ABSENTIA is not a pretty film to look at. Considering the film was only made for $70,000 from Kickstarter funding, you’re not expecting a polished, studio looking film that will wow audiences with its cinematography. The film is very muted and has editing issues at times. But then you get flashes of what Flanagan does really well, such as the use of monsters hiding in the background, smart choices of sound design, and a great use of shadow and light. Considering the budget, the malnourishment look for the missing people look pretty damn good, even presented as kind of creepy at appropriate times. Not all the jump scares work, but the camera tricks accomplish more than they don’t. It’s easy to see how Flanagan became a bigger name in the genre because he definitely has a style that stands out.


The acting is good for the most part. ABSENTIA is carried by the two lead actresses - Courtney Bell and Katie Parker. Parker, in particular, is really good as Callie. She’s the film’s guide in figuring out what’s going on and believably deals with aspects of the mystery, while Bell is doing more of the emotional beats but doesn’t get to do as much as Parker. But the two actresses share nice sibling chemistry and play off of each other very well. The other actors are decent-to-good, while frequent Flanagan collaborator Justin Gordon probably hams it up a bit too much as a skeptical detective who feels like he should be in another movie. And it was a nice coup to get Doug Jones to appear in a short role, considering Flanagan wasn’t a huge director yet. 


THE FINAL HOWL

ABSENTIA is the film that got Hollywood in noticing director Mike Flanagan, making him a force in the horror scene today. The film itself, done with a $70,000 budget, is a good piece of moody and atmospheric mystery-drama with those horror flourishes that Flanagan has made a staple in his direction for the past decade. It has a nice use of shadows and light, creepy people hiding in the background when you least expect it, and camera tricks that succeed more than they don’t. The narrative itself is bleak - dealing with loss, addiction, and the struggle to move on from the demons that continue to haunt. It’s too bad that the mystery is never really solved or explained in a way that’s satisfying by the film’s end, leaving one with more questions than answers. Also, while the characters are relatable on the surface due to the premise, there’s not much to them depth wise which makes it harder to care about what happens to them in the long run. Thankfully, lead actresses Courtney Bell and Katie Parker bring their “A” games to their roles, carrying the film as best as they can. And the film’s slow burn keeps one invested, rather than turned off, as new things are always presented. It won’t be for everyone, but ABSENTIA is worth a look if you’re in the mood for something downbeat and thought-provoking for 90 minutes.



SCORE

3 Howls Outta 4



12.20.2020

Black Christmas (2019)

DIRECTED BY

Sophia Takal


STARRING

Imogen Poots - Riley Stone

Aleyse Shannon - Kris Waterson

Lily Donoghue - Marty Coolidge

Brittany O’Grady - Jesse Donovan

Caleb Eberhardt - Landon

Cary Elwes - Professor Gelson

Madeleine Adams - Helena Rittenhouse


Genre - Mystery/Horror/Thriller/Slasher


Running Time - 92 Minutes



PLOT

Hawthorne College is winding down for the holidays, yet one by one, sorority girls are being picked off. Riley Stone (Imogen Poots), a girl dealing with her own trauma, begins to notice and tries to save her friends before they too are picked off.


REVIEW


2019’s remake [if only by title] of the 1974 Bob Clark slasher classic BLACK CHRISTMAS is a film I had been avoiding since the announcement of its existence was made last year by Blumhouse. While another remake after the not-so-great 2006 version didn’t make me excited, most of my disinterest came from the trailer that pretty much revealed the entire film from beginning to end. Why would I want to pay fifteen dollars for a movie ticket for something I pretty much watched in two minutes for free? The negative reviews once it was released didn’t help interest either, as many disapproved of the film’s use of its feminist themes while criticizing the lack of horror throughout the movie. 


Yet, I knew I was eventually going to watch this remake because I’m the kind of person who likes to see how much the premise of a 1970s movie is changed to remain relevant for a 2019 audience. I got a free digital code for BLACK CHRISTMAS earlier this year, but waited until the holiday season since it felt fitting. And while I don’t think this version of BLACK CHRISTMAS is the worst thing ever [like so many had claimed it was], it’s definitely a film I probably don’t plan on watching again due to its extremely flawed presentation in terms of narrative and even visually as a so-called horror movie.


Let me just get the good stuff out of the way since it’ll take the least time to put it all into words. I think the best thing about 2019’s BLACK CHRISTMAS is its cast. A lot of the actors don’t get a whole lot to do besides play archetypes and recite language to spread a message that I’ll get more into later. But the actors do give it their all and I appreciated that. Best actor is, without a doubt, Imogen Poots as Riley - a sorority sister who, after three years, is still struggling with being sexually assaulted by a frat brother who a lot of the college looks up to. Poots plays with the seriousness of this vicious act believably. She struggles with enjoying the activities her friends get up to because she’s still fractured. Poots convincingly shows fear and insecurity whenever she sees her attacker, struggling to find that inner strength to gain back her power and move on while making everyone know what a scumbag this one dude is. And she’s the only one really aware that there are strange things going on at her college, using all the knowledge she’s attained to make things happen and stop things from escalating to a point of no return. I really enjoyed Poots’ performance and while she had some choice dialogue I wasn’t a fan of, especially in the last act, she carried the film with her easy presence. She made you like her character enough to make you want Riley to get that justice. Aleyse Shannon had a sassy performance that I enjoyed whenever she appeared as Riley’s best friend, Kris. I’ll get more into her character in a bit, but I thought she acted it out in a believable way. And if there’s another actor that I liked, it was Cary Elwes as misogynist professor Gelson. He’s not in the film a whole lot, but his proper English accent reciting a bunch of sexist stuff was kind of a hoot. Elwes seemed to be having a blast playing a creep perpetuating what was going on at the school. It’s a nice cast that elevates this remake.


I also thought some of the visual shots by Sophia Takal were quite nice. The film looks polished. Some scenes do have a bit of much-needed tension. And there was one extreme long shot with a character returning to the dorm and looking for her cat [nice homage to the original film] where there’s action going on but the camera never moves. I thought that was a nice touch to build some suspense, knowing you’re watching something off. It also concludes with a scene that’s pretty much taken from a classic moment from 1990’s EXORCIST III, which I thought was cute.



As for the film’s message on feminism, female empowerment, the #metoo movement and so on - I respect the hell out of BLACK CHRISTMAS for focusing on these topical themes in a horror film like this. I’ve seen some reviews knocking the film for even presenting these issues, wishing that the filmmakers would keep social issues and politics out of their horror movies and just focus on scares and blood. Real horror fans wouldn’t even be saying these things because the genre has always been a hub for social and political topics. The film definitely wears its message on its sleeve. And while I may have issues with how it’s executed for the most part, at least this remake is about something. And I can definitely respect the filmmakers for wanting to make some sort of social statement about our current society and how it treats men different than women, especially in terms of power and status. I wouldn’t mind more films doing more of this, as long as they’re told the right way.


And that’s where BLACK CHRISTMAS fails - it’s so heavy handed with its message that it quickly loses its way towards the finale. It tries too hard to hammer its social themes to the point where it starts getting a bit preachy and annoying. The idea of feminism isn’t bad at all. The original 1974 film was pretty feminist in its own way when it came to its female characters. They were strong, opinionated, proactive and stood up for themselves when they weren’t being surprised by a crazed shadowy killer. When it came to the topic of abortion [even a more controversial issue in the 1970s], Jess was all about “my body, my choice” even when her strange boyfriend Peter was against it even when he was nowhere ready for a responsibility like that. Barb was a character who was open with her sexuality, alcoholism and even stood up to a crank caller tossing nasty slurs at her. And when a sorority sister goes missing, the women are the ones who force the male police officers to do something about it, even when they wrongfully suspect it’s just a situation where a desperate girl runs away with her boyfriend. These were independent women who had to defend for themselves, which is empowering. But unlike this new version, the women weren’t men haters and brought it up any chance they got.


And that’s really a major narrative flaw with 2019’s BLACK CHRISTMAS. I’m all for strong, female characters who don’t need a man to run their lives and defend them. I actually love female characters who can take care of the situation themselves. But the way these female characters are written, I’m surprised anyone would want to root for them. I get that the men in this film are creeps and they, more than likely, probably did some sort of damage to them. But it’s as if the screenwriters are using the social topics of today to generalize the entire male gender as this evil half of society who want nothing more than to keep women in their supposed place and enjoy physically and mentally abusing them as a way to maintain power. Riley, as a rape victim, is more sympathetic in the way she’s afraid of this fraternity and how nonchalant they are about how they treat the opposite gender. She has more of a right to be negative towards these guys. But Kris hates men because she’s written as the token “angry black woman” who wants a professor fired because he’s teaching what’s been always been taught and not something more diverse that caters to her own personal wants. Why doesn’t she just take a different class that caters more to diversity? Or actually work with the school to make change happen rather than trying to fire someone for doing the job he’s assigned to do? There are actual people, both male and female, who are like this and their unwillingness to compromise and change things for everyone instead of themselves makes them pretty unlikable. Kris is also pretty pushy, especially during a dance number where she annoys Riley to the point of singing about her rape in front of the person who did it. Hey, I’m glad the character stands up for herself, but the empowering moment gets a bit lost when she’s pushed to do it to satisfy her “friend” - same friend who films and uploads the clip on the internet, not expecting any sort of push back and legalities from it. Riley deserves better as a struggling character. Hell, Kris deserves better to be nothing but a stereotype when she could just be written as a normal person with thoughts and opinions that push the message of “girl power” in a positive way rather than a way that will push both genders away.


And then we have the male characters in this film. Man, all of them are pretty pathetic in how they’re presented compared to the women. Most of them are jerks and deserve whatever is coming to them. One seems like a cool friend to the girls until he rightfully lashes out at them for all their man-hating and thinking he would just be okay with their generalization of his gender, which ends up pushing him away from the group. And we have another male character who is super nice and supportive, but is treated as beneath the women in terms of power and status. So instead of having a male character be as equal to the women, the men are either evil or weaker compared to the female characters. This is how people write when they don’t know what feminism really is. Toxic masculinity is a thing and more films should address and criticize it. But doing it in a one-sided way isn’t helping the situation and just comes across as sexist towards men, especially those who support strong women and want them to have equal benefits as they do.



The message gets murky during the film’s third act, when BLACK CHRISTMAS decides it wants to stop being a slasher and more of a supernatural feature where this black tar is turning all the men into women-hating jerks. Apparently, the villains use this substance to brainwash men into bringing back the old days where women were the weaker sex and were obedient to men in every way. They’ll leave obedient women alone, while target and kill women who stand up for themselves. So what is this film trying to tell me? Are men bad as a nature or nurture thing? Or are men bad because some alien goo is brainwashing them in wanting to keep strong women in line? I think a feminist horror film is a great idea. I think having a redo of the whole “pod people” concept is a great idea. But if you can balance the narrative and express either one correctly, you just a failure of a story. If you have a message you want to say to people, say it with confidence and take whatever praise or criticism comes your way. Adding a supernatural element to lessen the blow to make audiences possibly like the [now] convoluted message is a cop out. The supernatural aspect only takes the supposed evil men off the hook because we have no idea how they would have acted otherwise. It’s a script that wants it both ways without earning either one.


And while I liked the look and some of the shots by Sophia Takal, I think her handling of a PG horror film is really lacking here. I’m not sure if this was her doing, or if Blumhouse wanted her to tone it down for a bigger audience, but BLACK CHRISTMAS plays out more like a Freeform network drama and less of a scary movie that will be remembered for all the right reasons for years to come. People die, but we don’t see any of it play out on screen. We barely get a cool aftermath at times, which is a shame for a slasher. I think the moments leading to the kills in this movie are pretty well structured and have some level of momentum. And the action in the final confrontation has enough horror violence to please some people. But this film honestly feels like an edited television version of a violent horror film, saving all the nasty stuff for an unrated home release that never came. Considering how serious [maybe too serious for its own good] story is, the film could have really used more visible slasher and horror elements to boost the fun factor that’s seriously lacking.


THE FINAL HOWL


While 2019’s reboot of BLACK CHRISTMAS isn’t the “worst horror film ever made” that many claimed it to be last year, it’s still a troubled film that has its flawed heart in the right place. The actors are good. Some of the shots by director Sophia Takal are inspired at times. And I respect the film for trying to express is themes of feminism, toxic masculinity and female empowerment, considering these are topics that should be addressed in our modern society. The film is definitely about something important, which should be commended for a horror film. 


But the film handles it all wrong, being way too heavy-handed for its own good and never having fun just being a horror movie. Films should have strong female characters, but not to the point where they’re unlikable and annoying because the script is more focused on the message rather than developing sympathetic characters we can stand with. It doesn’t help that the male characters are either evil, or just presented as weaker and more submissive than the women, presenting an antagonistic view towards half of the audience without really earning it. It doesn’t help when the film turns supernatural, pretty much destroying the message anyway, making BLACK CHRISTMAS almost moot in terms of what it wants to tell its audience. And honestly, the film just isn’t fun to watch since it takes itself so seriously as a college drama rather than a fun, slasher flick with an important message audiences can think about during and after the film is over. It’s sad because there’s a good film in here somewhere, but either the filmmakers or Blumhouse watered it down to please everyone- pretty much doing the opposite in the process. Stick with the original 1974 classic as it still holds up. And while I’m not the biggest fan on the 2006 remake, at least it’s a fun watch. This remake [in name only] is a missed opportunity for strong storytelling as both a social commentary and a horror film.



SCORE

1.5 Howls Outta 4



Related Posts with Thumbnails