Scream 7 (2026)

DIRECTED BY

Kevin Williamson

STARRING

Neve Campbell - Sidney Prescott-Evans

Isabel May - Tatum Evans

Jasmin Savoy Brown - Mindy Meeks-Martin

Mason Gooding - Chad Meeks-Martin

Anna Camp - Jessica Bowden

Mckenna Grace - Hannah Thurman

Asa Germann - Lucas Bowden

Celeste O'Connor - Chloe Parker

Sam Rechner - Ben Brown

Joel McHale - Mark Evans 

Courteney Cox - Gale Weathers

Ethan Embry - Marco Davis

Matthew Lillard - Stu Macher

Genre - Horror/Slasher

Running Time - 114 Minutes

PLOT

When a new Ghostface killer emerges in the quiet town where Sidney Prescott has built a new life, her darkest fears are realized as her daughter becomes the next target. Determined to protect her family, Sidney must face the horrors of her past to put an end to the bloodshed once and for all.

REVIEW

I originally wasn’t going to review SCREAM 7. I was on such a high with 2023's SCREAM VI [my second favorite of the franchise], but then it got soured by all the behind-the-scenes drama that led into the production of this seventh installment in the most successful slasher franchise of all time. The firing of Melissa Barrera over her political views [which led to Jenna Ortega leaving with her], to Spyglass’ and Paramount’s association with the current administration in the United States, to both Radio Silence and Christopher Landon leaving directorial duties due to the drama [bringing in Kevin Williamson to direct a SCREAM film for the first time since being part of the franchise as a writer since the beginning], to finally bringing back Neve Campbell and other previous cast members [alive and dead] as some sort of desperate attempt to please the fanbase - it was very distracting and left me less excited for this sequel. The use of A.I. to market this movie? Yuck. Even the trailers looked same old, same old. But I was curious in the direction of bringing back Sidney Prescott-Evans to the franchise, so here we are.

The good? The cast is solid here. Neve Campbell being back does make SCREAM 7 feel like a worthy sequel as she returns as a mother whose past is now haunting her and her oldest daughter, Tatum. Campbell can play Sidney in her sleep at this point and she’s still the same badass that many of us fell in love with back in 1996. I also appreciated that the character had stakes again, really bringing out the Final Girl protector role out of Campbell. I also liked Isabel May as Sidney’s daughter Tatum. I wasn’t sure at first, since the trailers didn’t make the character appealing to me at all. But May holds her own here, playing the total opposite of Sidney as a more naive and somewhat helpless character due to Sidney’s overprotectiveness and hiding of her past from her daughter. It’s obvious May will be the lead character in the next installment, which I’m fine with as long as the character evolves into a more self-efficient Final Girl.

Courteney Cox has one of the best intro moments in the franchise as the returning Gale Weathers. She feels more like the Gale of old rather than the Gale of recent sequels, which I actually liked. Joel McHale surprised me as Sidney’s husband Mark, as he does well in the role and has some good moments against Ghostface. He fit in better than I thought he would have. McKenna Grace, Celeste O’Connor and Asa Germann don’t get a ton to do as Tatum’s friends, but do well with what they’re given. And it’s good to see Matthew Lillard back as Stu Macher, who is clearing having a blast and gets to recite some of the best dialogue in the film. He hasn’t missed a bit as the Stu character.

I thought some of the kills were also pretty inventive. The one inside the school was pretty brutal and the major one inside a bar restaurant that involved a drink dispenser made my jaw drop in how well done it was. Both felt like they were leftovers from a TERRIFIER script, which isn’t a bad thing. This film needed more memorable moments like this.

I also didn’t mind the opening act. Unfortunately most of it was ruined by the trailers, but I liked the tension and suspense infused throughout the first 15 minutes of the film with two characters that unfortunately didn’t mean anything at all for the rest of the film. I know some had issues that the opening didn’t involve a popular actor, but I liked that it felt ordinary and not at all distracting and predictable.

It’s a shame the rest of the film is super shallow and feels like fan fiction that ChatGPT wrote. Character development is pretty much non-existent. I honestly had no idea what the names were for Tatum’s friends until I looked them up. That’s how fleshed out and memorable they were. Even Tatum’s boyfriend was as bland as a rice cake. James Vanderbilt and Guy Busick have worked on decent scripts before, which surprises me that they didn’t do more drafts to, at least, flesh some of these characters out for us to care about when Ghostface took them out. They weren’t even archetypes or caricatures. Lazy writing.

Speaking of lazy writing, what was up with that awful reveal? Hell, that entire third act was just terrible from beginning to end. From the A.I. usage, to the actual Ghostface reveals, and to the motives of the reveals were just so bad, I couldn’t believe anyone in the production thought this was a good idea. I’ve been okay with the Ghostface identities until now, as it made no sense and involved characters that were barely on the canvas to really surprise the audience in a good way. What a mess.

And how many men has Sidney dated with the name “Mark”? It’s confusing when Patrick Dempsey could have made an interesting pairing with Campbell. But I guess he wasn’t available? And why bring back the Meeks-Martin twins to have them do nothing special? Yes, you want to keep SCREAM (2022) and SCREAM VI canon, but having these two here felt like they were in the original Melissa Barrera script and the writers had no idea what to do with them once she was fired. I mean, it was nice to see them but they were just the comic relief and they weren’t really all that funny honestly.

Also, you’re telling me that Tatum has NO IDEA who her mom was? All those STAB films? The books? No one in her town, who knew who Sidney was, gave Tatum a clue as to what she went through? Google is right there, Tatum!

I also don’t need the script telling me twenty times that Sidney wasn’t in SCREAM VI and acting like it didn’t count because she wasn’t in it. It’s insulting to fans of that film, like yours truly. It was cute the first time and got grating with repeated mentions.

THE FINAL HOWL

After reading what the original SCREAM 7 could have been, it makes this version of SCREAM 7 more disappointing. There was a dark cloud over this film from the start and it lingered until the end credits concluded. Glad Neve Campbell got her bag and it was fun seeing her and some of the returning characters back again. But the script was not good and the Ghostface reveals were atrocious. It didn’t help that the killers were really obvious to begin with. Just a lazy sequel that unfortunately did so well, we’re getting another one. Hopefully they try harder with SCREAM 8 because SCREAM 7 did not make me excited for another one. Personally, I think Ghostface needs to rest for a while. But I’m not greedy Hollywood, so what does my opinion matter?

SCORE

2 Howls Outta 4

(5 out of 10)

Scream VI (2023)

DIRECTED BY

Matt Bettinelli-Olpin

Tyler Gillett

STARRING

Melissa Barrera - Sam Carpenter

Jasmin Savoy Brown - Mindy Meeks-Martin

Jenna Ortega - Tara Carpenter

Mason Gooding - Chad Meeks-Martin

Jack Champion - Ethan Landry

Liana Liberato - Quinn Bailey

Dermot Mulroney - Wayne Bailey

Hayden Panettiere - Kirby Reed

Courteney Cox - Gale Weathers

Devyn Nekoda - Anika Kayoko

Josh Segarra - Danny Brackett

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Mystery/Slasher

Running Time: 123 Minutes

PLOT

Following the latest Ghostface killings, the four survivors leave Woodsboro behind and start a fresh chapter in New York City.

REVIEW

Despite an eleven-year absence from movie theaters and a lack of Wes Craven [due to his unfortunate passing in 2015], 2022’s SCREAM proved to be a bigger success than expected. Doing much better than 2011’s SCREAM 4, the box office gross surprised analysts and proved that Paramount picked up a franchise that was ready to be revived again. Using the idea of re-quels and featuring the main legacy characters of the series to help push new stories along for a newer cast, most audiences enjoyed the return to Woodsboro and wanted more.

As soon as SCREAM (2022) made a quick profit, Paramount wasted no time in greenlighting the next installment. There was a lot of hype for this one for many reasons. One, the characters were leaving Woodsboro for New York City, taking the series into a major metropolitan for the first time in the franchise. Two, there were talks of Ghostface being a much scarier and more violent villain in the big city, upping some stakes. And three, not only would Courteney Cox return as Gale Weathers, but Hayden Panettiere would make her awaited return as Kirby Reed - a character long thought dead but revealed to be very much alive in an Easter Egg in SCREAM (2022).

However, the buzz turned from excitement to worry. Due to a disagreement over pay, series’ star Neve Campbell would be bowing out of this installment. Feeling she wasn’t being paid what she was worth [and I have to agree with her kinda], she refused to take part in the sequel. I’m not sure if Sydney Prescott had a big role or Kirby was her replacement, but it became a test to see if the SCREAM franchise could survive without Sydney.

Luckily in my opinion, I think the lack of Sydney actually benefits SCREAM VI since I think it’s the best installment since, at least, SCREAM 2. Hell, I think I put it above even that sequel, as this movie was just a blast from beginning to end. While I love the series, I’m not a big fanboy like many of my friends are. How I am with the HALLOWEEN franchise [those KILLS and ENDS debates, how fun were those] is how many are with SCREAM and this installment has been no stranger to a divide amongst fans. Personally, this was the first SCREAM film I had a lot of fun with watching since the first movie back in 1996 and would definitely watch this again whenever I get the chance.

I think what made SCREAM VI a fun experience were better written characters I can finally have an attachment to. Let’s be serious here - besides the original group from the first film, did we really care about a lot of these characters? Sure, some snuck in to win our hearts for a bit before getting killed off by Ghostface. But none I really cared about, including most of the new group from the last film. I think only Tara and Mindy were the ones I really connected with, while the others were just there for me. Even Samantha, who has a great backstory being Billy Loomis’ daughter and her struggle with that, didn’t do a whole lot for me because of how she was presented. Maybe it’s because the film wanted to focus a bit on the legacy characters that Samantha didn’t really get to do her thing until the very end of SCREAM (2022). I liked the new group of characters enough, but not to the point where I was concerned if they survived or not.

That changes in SCREAM VI. Without the shadow of Sydney, and even Dewey, the “Core Four” that survived SCREAM (2022) are allowed to breathe and flesh out into characters we can finally care about. Samantha is much more interesting this time around. Not only is she struggling with the trauma of the previous film’s events, but she’s fighting the instinct of becoming her father’s daughter, slowly gaining this thirst for violence and murder. She’s also smothering her sister Tara, who is dealing with her own massive trauma by partying and lashing out at those around her. Tara also manages to flesh out Chad, as they both have feelings for each other, having grown closer since SCREAM (2022). Chad has grown a lot, as he’s the Big Brother and Enforcer of the Core Four and does his best to protect his girls. And Mindy is still awesome, leaning more into Randy Meeks territory while also afraid of being attacked by Ghostface again and doing everything she can to get away from anyone she considers a suspect.

The other characters aren’t as interesting, but some come close. The best one is probably Danny, who is Samantha’s neighbor and boyfriend. He seems like a decent guy, but you’re never really sure in these films. And the return of both Gale and Kirby are pretty great. Gale is dealing with her trauma of losing Dewey by resorting to her old journalistic ways - writing books on the pain of others to make a buck. And Kirby is now an FBI Agent, but seems to be hiding things from the others for some reason. Hmm…

And Ghostface - man, this is the most terrifying portrayal ever. This version of the horror villain does not play at all. Even though Ghostface has a main target, he or she or they have no qualms hurting and murdering people in the way of their goal. Guns or knives - it doesn’t matter how long as the job is done. It was nice having an intimidating Ghostface for once.

SCREAM VI is also a movie where I didn’t figure out the mystery completely. I won’t say how many killers this film has, but I didn’t solve the whole puzzle - which was refreshing. I didn’t see the motive coming either, which I thought was a nice connective tissue to the previous movies. I usually figure out all the killers in these SCREAM movies, so having one where I didn’t see the whole picture was actually fun.

The script isn’t perfect though. There are plot holes all over this film, which I didn’t really think about while watching it. But reflecting back on the movie, yeah, it does things that shouldn’t make sense honestly. The final act feels very rushed and clumsy at times, even though it’s still a blast to watch it all go down. And yeah, people get hurt really badly in this movie. But they can get stabbed a thousand times in vital spots on the body, yet still make it out alive for the next film. I get the writers are attached to these characters and are scared to kill some of them off, but there should have been a higher body count by the sixth movie. I mean, this takes place in New York City! How did Woodsboro get a higher kill count?

The direction by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett is very good. While I wish the NYC location was used more than it was, the subway sequence and certain moments inside apartments, where neighbors can see what’s going on, were used very effectively. In fact, the tension was raised big time in SCREAM VI, as a lot of the chase sequences were suspenseful as hell and gave me a bit of anxiety at times. The bodega scene, a sequence involving a ladder between two apartment windows, Gale’s confrontation with Ghostface and the train sequence all had moments where I couldn’t look away because I was so tense. While not overly scary, SCREAM VI is the first film in a while where I felt the filmmakers were trying to unsettle the audience. I also liked the cool twist on the usual opening sequence and just the level of blocking during many of the scenes to create a thrilling experience. For a two-hour movie, SCREAM VI felt much shorter because I was given feelings I hadn’t felt during a SCREAM movie in a long time.

The cast is wonderful as well. The “Core Four” actors are a lot better and more comfortable this time around. Jenna Ortega continues her streak as horror’s “It Girl” with a layered performance as Tara, while Jasmin Savoy Brown still brings the comedy and geekiness as Mindy. Mason Gooding gets more to do as Chad, making his character more likable than in the last film. Melissa Barrera, however, feels like a different actress here than she did in 2022’s SCREAM. Maybe it’s more character development and screen time, or just feeling more comfortable in the role. But I really enjoyed Barrera here and she proved worthy of carrying this franchise as the series’ lead for as long as they’ll have her.

The rest of the cast is solid. I enjoyed Josh Segarra as Sam’s new love interest, Danny. Hayden Panettiere makes a welcome return as Kirby. Panettiere plays the role a bit differently this time around, which I won’t spoil how, but it’s nice seeing her here. Courteney Cox also had some great moments as Gail Weathers, especially since she was able to stand on her own without Neve Campbell or David Arquette taking away some of the spotlight.

THE FINAL HOWL

Who knew SCREAM VI would be my favorite installment of this slasher franchise in a very long time? Despite the much talked about absence of Neve Campbell, the film actually seems all the better without her presence included. Underdeveloped characters from 2022’s SCREAM actually get arcs that flesh them out in ways that we actually like and root for them. The New York City locale could have been used a bit more, but it’s a great change of scenery from your standard suburban Woodsboro. We have a Ghostface character who takes no prisoners, managing to be brutal and unrelenting to the point where you actually fear him or her (or them). And for a two-hour movie, it felt shorter than some of the other installments. Radio Silence did a great job directing this movie, actually bringing tons of tension and suspense to the point where I actually feared for some of these characters. And the younger cast feel more confident and actually get things to do, especially Melissa Barrera who actually gets to play a lead character that I wouldn’t mind being the center of this newer trilogy. I also thought the returns of Courteney Cox and Hayden Panettiere were fun additions. Despite some plot holes and an annoying tendency to play it too safe with protecting characters - a more brutal Ghostface should have had a higher body count - I think SCREAM VI is the best installment since the first one. Or at least, it’s on par with SCREAM 2, which this film clearly pays a great homage to. Since this movie made a lot of money, we’re clearly getting another one. Hopefully SCREAM VII continues the upward momentum and takes more risks.

SCORE

3.5 Howls Outta 4

(9 out of 10)

Scream (2022)

DIRECTED BY

Matt Bettinelli-Olpin

Tyler Gillett

STARRING

Melissa Barrera - Samantha Carpenter

Jenna Ortega - Tara Carpenter

David Arquette - Dewey Riley

Neve Campbell - Sidney Prescott

Courteney Cox - Gale Weathers

Mason Gooding - Chad Meeks-Martin

Mikey Madison - Amber Freeman

Dylan Minnette - Wes Hicks

Jack Quaid - Richie Kirsch

Marley Shelton - Judy Hicks

Jasmin Savoy Brown - Mindy Meeks-Martin

Kyle Gallner - Vince Schneider

Roger L. Jackson - Voice of Ghostface

Genre - Horror/Mystery/Slasher 

Running Time - 114 Minutes

PLOT

Twenty-five years after a streak of brutal murders shocked the quiet town of Woodsboro, a new killer has donned the Ghostface mask and begins targeting a group of teenagers to resurrect secrets from the town’s deadly past.

REVIEW

It’s hard to believe it’s been a bit over 25 years since the original SCREAM, the slasher film by Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson that brought back the horror genre back into prominence in 1996. Not only did it inspire countless slasher wannabes that emulated what SCREAM brought to the table, but its own wannabe sequels that varied in quality despite the same principal people in charge to comment on what was going on in the horror genre at the time. 2011’s SCREAM 4, a film I actually like and prefer over the third film, was polarizing to say the least and didn’t light the world on fire. Then Wes Craven would unfortunately pass away years later, despite plans for two more SCREAM films under his direction. Despite a television show that was hit-or-miss, it seemed the franchise would rest alongside its beloved director. 

Then it was surprisingly announced that SCREAM (2022) would return to theaters in the form of a sequel rather than a true remake, despite Craven having passed away and Williamson not having much involvement besides a producer’s credit. I was pretty disinterested about the project until I learned that Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett of Radio Silence would direct. Having enjoyed their 2019 horror film READY OR NOT, I became intrigued as to what they would bring to the table. Getting the remaining survivors of the franchise [Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette] to return also had me more interested in this movie. If HALLOWEEN could get its footing back somewhat, then there was hope for SCREAM (2022) right?

Considering we’re still in the midst of a pandemic [yeah, that’s unfortunately still a thing], I was debating whether to see this in a theater or wait until some streaming service picked it up after the theatrical 45-day window had lapsed. But considering I had watched the other SCREAM films theatrically, I was willing to safely risk it to see the return of Ghostface and Woodsboro. Luckily, I went to a showing that was socially distanced due to not a huge crowd. But that also deprived me of that horror theatrical experience I wanted to have. Still, I had a fun time with SCREAM (2022), giving me hope that this franchise can survive without its legacy characters.

POSITIVES

• As with every other SCREAM film, the story is very meta and acknowledges it without shame. Similar to SCREAM 4, the commentary here is about the new kind of remakes called “requels” - which are remakes that also act as sequels to some point in a franchise’s continuity to create an alternate universe. Referencing other “requels” like 2015’s STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS and 2018’s HALLOWEEN, the characters believe that Ghostface is recreating events from the first film [or in this case, the film-within-a-film STAB] because the franchise went off the rails by the fifth film and the killer wants to bring the Woodsboro murders back to the status it had in the late-90s and early-00s. Because of this, the killer is targeting people connected to the original story so these legacy characters can return for a proper ending to the franchise. 

The commentary works well here because the film never really discusses it to the point where it distracts from the story being told in the film. The film just shows the commentary by having many scenes reference the original film, especially in the opening scene and the film’s final act. The newer characters even act somewhat like some of the original characters in the first film, establishing them for a newer generation and potentially more sequels that wouldn’t require the original actors having to appear to legitimize the movie. It might feel a bit deja-vu for some, but the film cleverly changes things up a bit and makes them feel fresh to separate itself from what came before it.

• Also with the commentary, there is also an underlying idea of how toxic fandom has changed not only the horror genre, but altered the opinions and storytelling for other major franchises. Public forums and social media have done a lot of positive things for our society. But some people have taken their love for certain things to a point of obsession and bullying, making storytellers defensive about their art by either lashing out at their fanbase, or just changing their stories back to the status quo in order to appease the hardcore fans. Even certain characters in the film consider the STAB series as not worthwhile since they’re not “elevated horror” like films such as THE BABABOOK, THE WITCH or even HEREDITARY. Not only does that motivate Ghostface to bring back the horror of the old school slasher, but it also makes some of the victims kind of forget how to act in a slasher film since their tastes are above that now. The film could have really taken a side when it comes to toxic fandom, but SCREAM (2022) never does. It doesn’t really put down this portion of the community and just uses it as a motive for our killer. I thought that was actually smart since we all know people who take their love for these kinds of films beyond the point they really need to.

• 
  
  I thought the actors were pretty good in the movie. Of the newer cast, both Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega stood out as Sam and Tara Carpenter respectively. The two actresses had nice sister chemistry and both had their own individual emotional beats to play throughout the film. In particular, Barrera had more pressure since there’s a twist to her character that gives her a bit more to play around with - something that could really extend to future installments and take it into interesting directions if done right. Dylan Minnette is also good as Wes Hicks, the son of Judy Hicks from SCREAM 4. And Mason Gooding and Jasmin Savoy Brown had some highlights as siblings Chad and Mindy - the film nerds of the group. Brown, in particular, is super charismatic and had some great moments. She’s a star. And Jack Quaid is just awesome as Richie. He had the funniest moments and he knocked each one out of the park.

As for the legacy actors, they all do well with what they’re given. Neve Campbell can play Sidney in her sleep. Courteney Cox gets to do more emotional stuff as Gale. And Marley Shelton seems more confident as Judy Hicks. But of the four that do return, it’s David Arquette who steals the show as Dewey. Arquette plays the role in a more subtle manner, being more grizzled and traumatized by the previous events and wanting no part of the murders until he realizes he can save lives by returning. It’s a more serious and focused Dewey that we’ve seen and I thought Arquette sold it perfectly. In fact, I thought the writing worked because it was more serious and it gave more depth and dimension to the legacy actors who had to sell how serious these murders were instead of treating it as some meta joke like in previous sequels. This helped elevate Ghostface [still voiced by an incredible Roger L. Jackson, in probably his most sinister performance] into more of a threat, which I greatly appreciated. 

• The direction by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett would have made Wes Craven proud. It’s a confident, well-paced and smart horror sequel that does enough to bring the SCREAM feeling back after a decade while managing to do new things that make it stand out from the other films in the series. The film has this somewhat muted look that I actually liked, since the film is a bit darker in tone. The kill scenes were pretty brutal for once, as this version of Ghostface was not messing around and wanted people to die. I mean, there’s nothing really graphic but the way Ghostface just stabs people reminded me of Rob Zombie’s Michael Myers at times. I also loved how the two directors would play with horror tropes to create suspense and tension, despite how common this type of direction has been for decades. They play with expectations to mess with the audience and I actually laughed when it would keep happening within one scene as some sort of game with the viewers. Radio Silence did a really nice job bringing life back to the series and I’m glad they’re interested in doing more SCREAM movies because I’d like to see where they would take the franchise.

NEGATIVES

• 
  
  I felt the tone was off at times. SCREAM (2022) is mostly a more serious film than the previous movies. But since the movie is known for its quirky humor, I felt like the filmmakers had to add moments of comedy in spots to make it match the rest of the franchise. I’m not saying the jokes or funny dialogue was terrible. In fact, I laughed at a lot of them. But considering it felt like a serious SCREAM film for once, maybe since the first film, the comedy felt out of place at times. I mean, I’m glad there was some levity but the flow could have been slightly better.

• As much as I enjoyed the cast, I thought a lot of the newer squad got the shaft in terms of development and even screentime. I forgot certain characters existed in this story because I hadn’t seen them in so long. One character, in particular, felt like they were missing for half the movie. It’s unfortunate because I found them kind of interesting and wanted to see what more they could offer. Even the legacy characters felt somewhat unnecessary until the film’s final act. It’s obvious fans wanted these actors and characters back, so the deals were made. But besides maybe Dewey, the rest of them could have skipped out and let the newer characters lead the franchise into the future. I mean, I’m happy to see the survivors return for one more round, but they weren’t really the focus, unlike what the marketing wants you to believe. But HALLOWEEN (2018) grabbed viewers because Jamie Lee Curtis returned. STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS brought back Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill to great success. For the commentary to work, you couldn’t do a new SCREAM without Campbell, Cox and Arquette.

• I felt like of all the SCREAM films, this was the easiest mystery to solve in terms of who Ghostface was. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched too many slashers, mysteries and gialli, but once the suspect(s) appeared, I pretty much said that they were the culprit. And when the reveal was made, I felt both satisfied and disappointed how easy it was to figure it out. I’m not saying it isn’t a fun ride getting to the reveal, but I was expecting to be swerved somewhat considering the whole “requel” deal. At least the motives were interesting and worked within the context of the story.

THE FINAL HOWL

I’m surprised how well SCREAM (2022) turned out, considering it’s been eleven years since the last installment and the first film without the direct involvement of either Wes Craven or Kevin Williamson. Despite a predictable mystery reveal of Ghostface [at least for me], lack of scares, and possibly having too large a cast that doesn’t allow certain actors and their characters to get enough development to really care about them, SCREAM (2022) is still a fun ride and a worthy sequel. Radio Silence’s Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett direct a confident movie, playing with horror conventions in an amusing way, while making Ghostface feel like a genuine threat for once with his suspenseful stalking and brutality on many of the characters. The actors all do well, in particular Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega as our new leads with great supporting roles from Jack Quaid, Jasmin Savoy Brown and especially David Arquette in his best turn as Dewey since the first movie. And I enjoyed the clever use of its social commentary on Hollywood relying on the reboot/sequel [known as the “requel”] to make money, which the film shows rather than tells, recreating many memorable moments of the first film but twisting them around to create something new. Wes Craven would be proud of this one, since SCREAM (2022) is a better film than both SCREAM 3 and SCREAM 4 at least, potentially taking the series into an interesting direction if handled correctly.

SCORE

3 Howls Outta 4

(8 out of 10)

Happy Valentine's Day 2014 - The Horror Couples Edition

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Yes, it's that time of the year where you show the one you love how you feel about them through boxes of chocolate, cheap flowers, and an endless supply of lube and/or condoms. Yes, I'm sure the smell of tacky sex mixed with candy and booze was exactly what Saint Valentine had in mine for his own commercial holiday.

Originally, this was going to be a post where I would be reviewing all five TWILIGHT films in order. But since I'm not feeling suicidal, I pretty much stopped mid-way through THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON [the second film]. I can tolerate the first TWILIGHT, even if it isn't meant for my demographic. But that first sequel was so atrocious, I couldn't torture myself watching more than 45 minutes of it. So for those who are expecting me to ever discuss this series in full, you'll be waiting a really long time.

So instead of talking about TWILIGHT, I want to spotlight certain horror couples that have a "Better Love Story Than TWILIGHT". Where's the love? Right here at Full Moon Reviews.

You're welcome.

ANNIE WILKES and PAUL SHELDON

We all have our celebrity crushes. Pamela Anderson was mine for many years. A lot of women have named their vibrators Clooney or Pitt. And Nurse of the Year, Annie Wilkes, loves horror author Paul Sheldon. And his work too. But mainly just Paul.

What sweet MISERY it is to watch these two wacky lovebirds play the Mating Game. I mean, Guy gets into a car crash. Girl saves him from hypothermia. Guy wants outside help, but Girl refuses so she can keep him all to herself. Guy murders Girl's favorite character, making Girl angry. Girl breaks Guy's ankles. Guy decides to bring Girl's favorite character back. They both lie to each other while killing each other over an unpublished novel. It's true love!

Seriously, I was rooting for these two. Sure, Annie gets a bit carried away with her feelings for Paul. And Paul is a bit stubborn about his appreciation towards Annie. But with a bit of therapy and maybe a warmer climate, I'm sure these two would have made it for the long haul. Just keep that pig home, Annie. Just keep her home.

MEGAN HALSEY and DR. CARL HILL

Science is a funny thing. We can't make love potions, but we can have parts of body remain animated post-mortem. So strange.

Anyway, Megan's and Carl's story is derived by a bit of obsession on Carl's part. Not that I blame the guy. I mean, Megan is a stunning woman and I would go heads over heels if I had to share the same room with her too. Okay, maybe he went a bit overboard by murdering her father and wanting to hurt her fiancee, Dan, so he can get her alone. Some guys grab a girl's attention through poetry. Others do it through homicide. At least that's what I learned from watching the Investigation Discovery network.

And c'mon ladies, any man who is willing to go between the legs of a woman tongue first deserves to remain on any romance list! And he probably didn't even consider it could have been Megan's time of the month. Any man who is brave like that deserves to have a Valentine! The things us men have to do to get ahead in romance...

ARNOLD CUNNINGHAM and CHRISTINE

If there's ever a couple who have displayed such great devotion for the other, it would be Arnie and his 1958 Plymouth Fury, Christine. A man who takes care of his car is a man who will take care of his woman, ladies and gents. Arnie is completely in love with Christine. He restores her appearance. Christine plays him love songs from the 1950s. Christine gives Arnie a boost of confidence that turns him from a nerd to a bad ass. Christine is willing to murder anyone who is a threat to her love for Arnie. Why can't all women be like this damn car???

You see what a good polish does, ladies? Give us a good rub down, and we'll be devoted to you for the foreseeable future! And is Christine willing to take it from behind through her tail pipe? Man Arnie, you were one lucky man.

DAVE and EVELYN, and DAN and ALEX

Sometimes love can start from the wrong place. But it doesn't mean you should give up on it! So who cares if the women from PLAY MISTY FOR ME and FATAL ATTRACTION are a bit loopy and obsessive? Most of us would love at least 1/8 of that attention!

Seriously, how many radio DJs get this much attention from sexy women? If a woman wants you that bad, even knowing you have a face for radio, just let it happen! Dave, it's not Evelyn's fault that she fell for your smooth voice and rad tunes. Maybe you shouldn't have played Captain and Tennille's "Do That To Me One More Time" during the Midnight Hour each night while she masturbated to your voice! Once is never enough for a woman like Evelyn.

As for Dan, maybe he shouldn't have given Alex a penal offense every chance he had. And just because he withdrew his case at the last minute doesn't mean Alex wasn't madly in love with him. And Dan should have known better. He had a wife, a kid, a delicious looking bunny, and a mistress on the side - even though he played Liberace in a really successful HBO movie! AND HE STILL GOT LAID!! Dude, stop ignoring the broad and appreciate what you have!

Women just have a different way with showing their feelings, guys. Even if they are batshit crazy, the sex is gonna be hella good. We all want to die happy, right?

DAN CHALLIS and ELLIE GRIMBRIDGE

This love story has a special place in my heart. A man, who happens to be a terrible husband and father, gets it on with a girl probably half his age. No, it's not the Woody Allen biopic. It's HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH!

Yes, even with that annoying "Silver Shamrock" song, unlikeable characters, and Stonehenge, these two found each other - displayed by their quickies in their hotel room just hours after meeting each other. Dan doesn't need Craigslist to hook up, so why should you? And Ellie...well she needed sex to help her mourn over her father's passing. You have to fill that void in your heart somehow!

What makes this couple special is that Ellie may have not been human all along. Maybe she was an android who had specific orders to bang Dan any chance she got. If that's the case, where can I find one of these androids? Does Radio Shack sell these? Do I need snakes and bugs to come out of my head to have my wish granted? Someone annoy me with a jingle and let me know!

THE BEAR SUIT and GENTLEMAN at the Outlook Hotel

Um... moving on.

CHARLES and MARY BRADY

While all's fair in love and war, incest is a game the whole family can play. Hey, don't judge! If supermodel Stephanie Seymour can pose seductively next to her two sons, then Mary can bang her own child as well! Okay, maybe that wasn't the best example...

Seriously though, these shape-shifting SLEEPWALKERS are a strange duo. They need to feed off people to remain young. They can turn into cats - insert perverted joke here. And they enjoy pleasing each other sexually, to the point that Mary is jealous whenever Charles finds interest in another woman. Either she wants to keep it in the family, or Charles is an expert in licking her "stamp collection". I'm sending them a copy of Oedipus Rex, hoping it'll salvage their relationship.

STIRBA and her TWO FRIENDS

Werewolves are a funny bunch. They can only transform under a full moon each month. They can get killed by silver. They hate vampires. And they sure love furry threesomes where they slobber and growl at each other. In other words, werewolves have a HOWLING good time in life.

Stirba, who enjoys flashing her beautiful breasts like 20 times in this sequel, also doesn't mind getting a furball during sexual intercourse. I respect and admire this woman. Then again, I'm blinded about her banging her whether she's a werewolf or not. What does that say about me?

I'm a freak? No, that's HOWLING VI. I'm discussing HOWLING II. Pay attention.

Seriously, it's good to be a werewolf every once in a while.

STU and BILLY

These two guys sure get off on penetrating each other. Sure, they use knives, but c'mon! We all know what this stuff is really telling us...

Although they get off on torturing their friends to show their love for horror films they grew up with, they seem more into stabbing each other and causing each other pain. And as they say, love and pain go hand and hand. It's just too bad Sydney and Gail Weathers had to play all Michelle Bachmann on these two and destroy their love forever.

I'm still hoping these two made it to a pro-gay-marriage state and ended up happily after ever. Just cool it with the knives, guys...


Happy Valentine's Day, guys! Here's a heart from me to you...