Lunar Cycle - September 2025

Since I don’t have as much time to write longer reviews than I used to, I figured I would just post shorter reviews for horror/cult films that I feel deserve your attention.

Director: Francis Lawrence 

Starring: Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Garrett Wareing, Tut Nyuot, Charlie Plummer, Ben Wang, Judy Greer, Mark Hamill

Genre: Horror/Science Fiction/Thriller

Run Time: 108 Minutes

Plot: 

In a dystopian, alternate-America ruled by a totalitarian regime, 50 teenage boys take part in a deadly annual walking contest, forced to maintain a minimum pace or be executed, until only one survivor remains.

Review: 

Based on a 1979 Stephen King novel of the same name [under his pseudonym Richard Bachman], THE LONG WALK was passed around for a long time before this film adaptation was actually filmed and released. From George A. Romero in 1988, to Frank Darabont in the 2000s, to both New Line Cinema and then eventually Lionsgate for the actual release, this adaptation for such a simple story took its sweet time getting its moment in the spotlight. And it was definitely worth the wait, as THE LONG WALK is one of 2025’s best horror films.

There’s not much to say about the film without really spoiling what happens [for those who didn’t read the novel, which I’m sure is quite a few], but THE LONG WALK is very well-made visually and tightly structured from a narrative standpoint. It’s a simple story with a group of young men walking for their survival in order to gain money and a single wish. And Francis Lawrence’s direction captures that really well, as the film isn’t all that stylish or distracting with unnecessary visual effects. From what I understand, the film was shot chronologically meaning the day scenes and the night scenes were all environmentally legit - which is a great touch and convincingly showcases the characters’ struggle to keep going during each day of the walk. While the death scenes are shot well and are visceral, considering how close we get to the characters and their stories, that wouldn’t happen if Lawrence just lets the story and the actors do most of the work for him, elevating a pretty simple point-and-shoot affair.

And boy - are the actors really great here. While each of the young men contribute something to the narrative, whether we grow to love them or despise them, the film is strongly carried by the central duo of Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson. Considering his father has passed away in the story, it’s easy to see Hoffman using the pain of his own paternal loss [the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman] as a catalyst for Ray’s motivations to win the walk. And Jonsson has become a young actor I’ve been really enjoying onscreen lately, carrying himself with the charisma and confidence of someone beyond his years. And an unrecognizable Mark Hamill as The Major adds some ironic humor to a serious story, bringing much needed levity.

I wish THE LONG WALK had done better at the box office. But considering how non-flashy it is, it’s easy to see why many would probably wait until digital or streaming to check it out. And I hope audiences do when the time comes because it’s a super solid Stephen King adaptation that deserves a cult status in years to come. THE LONG WALK has the endurance to be in my Top 10 of 2025 Horror Films for sure.

SCORE

3.5 Howls Outta 4

(9 out of 10)

Director: Justin Tipping

Starring: Tyriq Withers, Marlon Fox, Julia Fox, Tim Heidecker, Jim Jefferies

Genre: Horror/Mystery/Supernatural/Sports

Run Time: 96 Minutes

Plot:

After suffering a potentially career-ending brain trauma, Cameron Cade receives a lifeline when his hero, legendary eight-time Championship quarterback and cultural megastar Isaiah White, offers to train Cam at Isaiah’s isolated compound that he shares with his celebrity influencer wife. But as Cam’s training accelerates, Isaiah’s charisma begins to curdle into something darker.

Review: 

Maybe besides TRON: ARES, no other trailer really got me hyped for a film like 2025’s HIM. For one, it was produced by Jordan Peele, who has had a great track record since joining the horror genre. Two, we rarely get horror films involving sports, making it stand out. Plus, a bonkers Marlon Wayans in a serious role? Sign me up as this couldn’t fail.

Yeah… about that. Man, talk about cinema disappointments of the year but HIM is definitely Him when it comes to that description. HIM is a film with so many ideas and so many things it wants to be and wants to say that it ends up saying not much at all. Watching this with one of my best friends who is more of a football fan than I am [even though I do watch and follow], I feel he got more of a commentary than I did. Yet, he felt the same disappointment that I did. What is this film about? CTE? Drug use in sports and how hard men have to live up to a certain status as they get older? Daddy issues and the shadow of the patriarchy? The rumors that the Illuminati controls how the sport is run with a cult-like mentality? There’s so much going on that I was pretty overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time watching this. 

I felt the first half of the film was the more interesting portion, as it seemed to focus on Cade’s struggle to live up to who his late father wanted him to be. He sacrifices his individuality and his own health to achieve his [and/or his father’s dream] to be a pro football player. Cade even gets to train with Isaiah, who is his hero - yet, at the same time, his rival and the man he’s supposed to replace because of Isaiah’s age catching up with him. There seems to be a slight tug-and-war in how the two interact. It looks friendly on the surface, but Isaiah obviously has nefarious plans for Cade with randomly taking blood from him, giving him mystery drugs and even strange training where other players are brutally punished for missing plays. You start to feel for Cade a bit because you realize this isn’t exactly what he signed up for.

But then it starts becoming more supernatural and the film goes into a tired direction I had expected and was really disappointed by. Let’s say it goes from grounded to BLACK SWAN or a mixture of THE SUBSTANCE with MIDSOMMAR. The film becomes so surreal that it just loses its way towards a predictable ending. What do these random images mean? Why is the pacing so weird? And is that really the answer to the mystery [which I pretty much predicted]? I was more frustrated than entertained.

What saves HIM is that Justin Tipping directs a beautiful film that makes interesting and sometimes breathtaking visual choices. A lot of the film feels like a Jordan Peele homage in terms of framing, editing and sound choices. But Tipping lacks the restraint and voice that Peele does, making the film kind of a visual mess as it goes along. With so many random images popping up, you’re just wondering what they have to do with anything. I don’t think even Peele could have saved this visually, as the script feels like a first draft that needed another edit.

The cast is probably the highlight of HIM. Tyriq Withers holds his own in the lead role, making the best of whatever’s thrown at him. Julia Fox and Jim Jefferies add some quirkiness and humor to the surrealism. But Marlon Wayans is the standout here, stealing the spotlight from Withers in every scene. I like seeing Wayans in serious roles because he obviously has range, which HIM definitely proves. He’s sympathetic. He’s manic and out-of-control. He’s sometimes terrifying. And he’s great.

If you’re a Marlon Wayans fan, then HIM may be worth checking out. He’s really the only reason to see this, despite a game cast and interesting visuals that fall apart due to a script that needed more edits and doctoring. It’s nice seeing more sports-centric horror films though, as HIM shows a lot of promise but never lives up to its Game Day potential. 

SCORE

2 Howls Outta 4

(5 out of 10)

Director: Renny Harlin

Starring: Madelaine Petsch, Richard Brake, Rachel Shelton, Gabriel Basso, Froy Gutierrez, Brooke Lena Johnson

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Slasher

Run Time: 96 Minutes

Plot:

When The Strangers learn that one of their victims, Maya, is still alive, they return to finish what they’ve started.

Review:

For those who read my review for THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 1 last year, you knew how much I hated the reboot for a franchise that didn’t even warrant one. The characters had no agency. The lead characters were two of the dumbest, most useless protagonists I’ve seen in a horror film in a very long time. And even when action happened, it wasn’t all that exciting. CHAPTER 1 felt like a weaker retread of the 2008 film. In fact, CHAPTER 1 was my Worst Film of 2024 in any genre.

So of course, I watched THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 because I was so excited for it.

Yes, that was sarcasm if you couldn’t tell.

I will say this for THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2: the trailer gave me slightly more optimism than CHAPTER 1’s trailer did. I knew CHAPTER 1 would be terrible from the trailer, but at least CHAPTER 2 seemed to have more action, stalk-and-slash and an interesting side story that hadn’t been done in the franchise yet. I wasn’t expecting greatness but even a sequel that ended up being “mid” would have been enough for me. 

Calling THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 “mid” would be extremely generous, as this sequel is just an extension of last year’s garbage. Our Final Girl still lacks a bit of agency, despite what happened to her and knowing the threat that’s coming for her. The new characters add absolutely nothing to the movie, with some not even getting more than a single scene before they’re taken out. The backstory for two of the Strangers, while welcome, still manages to be fairly generic and done better in many other movies. And the script tosses so much random and weird stuff for our leading lady that I’m wondering if anyone read the script before thinking it was okay to fund and film this. Like seriously… who are these movies for?

That being said, CHAPTER 2 at least tries to be better than CHAPTER 1. The opening hospital sequence, while not HALLOWEEN II, is at least an attempt to create tension and thrills as the Strangers chase Maya within the building. Yes, Maya still makes really dumb choices or doesn’t react to much at all at times. But at least she’s fighting back stuff and taking some control of the situation whenever the film sees it fit. 

There’s also a random scene in the middle of the film involving a CGI wild boar that attacks Maya for, like, five minutes that had the entire audience laughing at how ridiculous it all was. This scene honestly should have made me walk out of the theater and demand a refund on my AMC A-List Membership. But it was so random and so bizarre that I wish more of CHAPTER 2 was this weird. At least it would have shown that Renny Harlin and/or whoever had a say in this project was willing to take wild chances that would have given CHAPTER 2 a reason to exist and be memorable. This is, without a doubt, the thing I will take away from this movie and I can’t hate this sequel for that.

While Renny Harlin does infuse the film with more tension, action and strange CGI animals, nothing Harlin does visually can save an awful and sloppy screenplay. The film looks polished and the opening sequence has promise. But Harlin has directed so many better films than this and there’s nothing stylish about this film that makes it stand apart from any other horror film of this kind. 

The actors really try here and I feel bad that they’re in this movie. Madelaine Petsch is way better here than she was in the previous movie. But the script makes her character so dumb and frustrating that I keep wishing for the Strangers to end her journey sooner than later. Richard Brake gets nothing really to do as a shady sheriff [his role seems bigger in, sigh, CHAPTER 3] and Gabriel Bosso is creepy but it never really goes anywhere. Like, at all. These actors could have had interesting characters. But I couldn’t tell you what made any of them sign up for this besides a nice paycheck. 

Saying CHAPTER 2 is better than CHAPTER 1 is like saying that Chlamydia is better than Herpes. While just a tiny bit better, it’s still an awful sequel that only fans of this franchise or anyone who has to see every horror film ever made [like me] should give any attention to. And yes, I’ll be there to suffer through, sigh, CHAPTER 3. I’m hoping the third time’s the charm, but I’m not holding my breath.

SCORE

1 Howl Outta 4

(3 out of 10)

Director: Mercedes Bryce Morgan

Starring: Maddie Hasson, Alex Roe, Marco Pigossi, Andra Nechita

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Comedy/Mystery

Run Time: 94 Minutes

Plot: 

A couple’s romantic vacation at a secluded lakeside estate is upended when they are forced to share the mansion with a mysterious and attractive couple. In this darkly hilarious and seductive horror story, a dream getaway spirals into a nightmarish maze of sex, lies, and manipulation, bringing terrifying secrets to light and triggering a bloody battle for survival.

Review:

With a title like BONE LAKE, you’re expecting a horror film involving a lot of sex. Or at least, a film sort of making fun of sexual exploits in a horror-comedy fashion. The trailer, which would play every time during the previews for the past month or so, had me intrigued with its teases of salacious manipulation and promise of some sort of sex-thriller that we’ve haven’t really seen much of in mainstream horror since the 1990s really. Luckily, I was able to see this before its wide release date to see if the film lived up to what the trailer promised.

Unfortunately like most trailers, they swerve the audience in presenting one thing but giving you another. BONE LAKE is no exception, as it’s a film that’s not the sex-thriller romp I was expecting. While the opening scene does have both male and female nudity and there are sexual scenes once every blue moon, BONE LAKE is pretty conservative for the story it wants to visually tell, making it somewhat of a disappointment of something more interesting. It’s not unlike anything you could watch on a Lifetime or on a Tubi - a messed up game involving two random couples who just end up at the same lakeside estate due to a double booking. But as the film rolls along, one of the couples seems to be much more than they appear, making their own rules and manipulating the other couple for reasons that are revealed in the final act. The revelation, which I was indifferent to, will probably divide audiences - although I did feel like it made one of the couple’s motivations to be at the estate interesting enough.

So while the story is pretty basic and predictable, I did think Mercedes Bryce Morgan’s direction had some style to it, while the visuals popped with vibrant colors [even at night] and with, of course, some nice eye candy for everyone. The use of special effects for the horror elements and gore are done surprisingly well for an independent flick. There’s an opening kill involving an arrow through someone’s testicles as they escape [the audience popped for that one] and there are a bunch of amputations during the film’s final act involving an axe and a chainsaw [a bit of an EVIL DEAD tribute in particular moment]. Not a bad looking nor badly paced feature.

The actors are fine. Maddie Hasson looks like Florence Pugh and is quite good as the more conservative Sage. She has nice flirtatious chemistry with all of her co-stars, regardless of gender. Alex Roe plays the attractive and manipulative bad boy, Will, having the film’s more humorous moments. Andra Nechita brings sex appeal as the seductive Cin, while Marco Pigossi plays, what some may call the Beta Male, Diego perfectly. Since the film focuses on such a small cast, I thought these four actors did what they could with the simple and expected material to not make it boring. So kudos to them.

Honestly, I was expecting BONE LAKE to be more provocative and sleazy considering what the trailer teases. But it’s just a predictable and fairly conservative mystery that’s not all that sexy, scary or laughs-out funny. But it entertained me for 94 minutes and I was along the ride to see how it would all end. A theatrical watch could be a tough one, but definitely a good time on streaming.

SCORE

2.5 Howls Outta 4

(6 out of 10)

The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025)

DIRECTED BY

Michael Chaves

STARRING

Vera Farmiga - Lorraine Warren 

Patrick Wilson - Ed Warren 

Mia Tomlinson - Judy Warren 

Ben Hardy - Tony Spera 

Rebecca Calder - Janet Smurl 

Elliot Cowan - Jack Smurl 

Shannon Kook - Drew Thomas 

Steve Coulter - Father Gordon 

Genre: Horror/Supernatural/Demons

Running Time: 135 Minutes

PLOT

Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren take on one last terrifying case involving mysterious entities, from their past, they must confront.

REVIEW

For 12 years, THE CONJURING franchise has thrived through 4 main films and 6 spinoffs to varying degrees of quality. Despite the controversies behind the real life personas, the film characters of Ed and Lorraine Warren have become beloved figures in the horror genre this century. I also enjoyed watching Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga play these characters, as they bring a lot of heart into their performances by keeping things grounded within a supernatural world.

However, the last CONJURING installment [THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT] really soured me on this franchise. It was boring. The premise felt tired. Turning The Warrens into the Benson and Stabler of the series took away what made the characters endearing to begin with. To say that I wasn’t excited about a new CONJURING film was an understatement. But here I am, discussing what’s being sold as the “final” installment of the main series - THE CONJURING: LAST RITES. Never believe anything studios sell you when it comes to horror that uses the words “last” or “final” because they don’t mean a damn thing. And considering that LAST RITES has become one of the most successful horror films in recent memory, almost breaking records at the box office, I doubt this will be the last we’ll see of the Warrens.

But is the film any good?

LAST RITES begins in the 1960s as a young Ed and pregnant Lorraine take on a case involving a cursed mirror. The mirror messes with Lorraine so badly that she ends up going into labor. At first, the baby is stillborn. But once Lorraine begins to pray for the baby to come back, the baby cries and Judy is officially here.

The film moves 20 years into the 1980s, where an adult Judy is starting to have her own premonitions that worry Lorraine. Meanwhile, the Smurl family from Pennsylvania buy a gift for one of their daughters who just completed her confirmation ceremony. The gift happens to be the cursed mirror from decades ago, now ready to terrorize a new family as well as lure the Warrens to finish what it started years ago.

The positives:

Despite what I think of any of the main CONJURING films, you can’t go wrong with the strong cast. Both Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga can play Ed & Lorraine Warren in their sleep at this point, maintaining their incredibly strong chemistry and grounding the film with their charisma and heart into their roles. I liked that the two actors got to play more familial roles this time around, allowing Wilson and Farmiga to portray concerned parents and spouses. Lorraine’s worry about losing her only daughter to evil, while also juggling concern for Ed’s heart condition allows both to play different beats from the other three installments. There seems to be actual stakes this time around, which strengthened their performances I felt.

The addition of Mia Tomlinson as an older Judy Warren is a great casting choice, as she carries the role with the right amount of depth the screenplay allows her to have. She has nice chemistry with Wilson and Farmiga, while playing so many different emotional beats - from fear, to passion, and to a certain amount of malice towards the end of the film. Ben Hardy gets less to do as Judy’s boyfriend Tony, but he carries his own against the other three main actors. He plays the role of the audience very well, learning about what the Warrens have been doing for decades and slowly helping them in the family business.

The actors who play the Smurl Family do a nice job as well, but they’re not given a ton other than arguing with each other and/or reacting to the supernatural stuff around them. But they’re fine. And it’s always nice to see returning actors like Steve Coulter, John Brotherton, Shannon Kook and other familiar faces from previous films in this “last” installment. I appreciate it as a fan of continuity.

I also felt that this is Michael Chaves’ best film as a director, as he seems to finally have the confidence to make some bold choices and visualizes the groundedness and the scares equally well. The special effects look good and the pacing is better here than it was in THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT. I feel like Chaves took the criticism of the last installment and turned it around by making LAST RITES feel more in tone with the first and best CONJURING film. If you’re going to be James Wan-lite, you could do a lot worse than Chaves’ visual presentation here.

And as an 80s fanatic, I loved the soundtrack and needledrops here. 

Negatives:

Even though I do believe there will be another CONJURING installment despite the title, considering how much money it has made already, let’s be honest: this main series feels tired after four movies. It feels like the same film as the first one, but less quality each time. Same beats, similar threats with a predictable conclusion - do we really need to see more of these? Say what you want about slasher films. But I can tell you the difference between SCREAM and SCREAM 2 or A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET from A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS. Same beats and formulaic, sure. But slasher sequels usually bring something new to each installment. Besides a different cursed object or villain, what’s the difference in terms on how these movies are presented? Yes, LAST RITES is a better movie than THE DEVIL MAY ME DO IT because it feels more in line with the first two films. But that’s kind of the issue here. It feels like something I’ve seen before but in “light flavor”.

I also couldn’t really connect or care about the supporting characters in this film. This refers mainly to the Smurl Family, who just feel like a Temu version of the family in the first CONJURING. The two older daughters are pretty interchangeable. Same goes to the two younger daughters. The father and mother aren’t all that interesting or charismatic. The grandparents are just there to be fodder later on. I knew nothing of these people other than that they were being messed with by whatever demon was possessing that mirror.

And as much as I like Tomlinson’s and Hardy’s performances, their characters could have used more depth as well. While better than the Smurls, I think I needed more time to see their love story and their connection to Ed and Lorraine. It’s obvious Judy and Tony are being propped up to become the new main characters in the franchise going forward if there are more, Maybe we’ll get more personality and depth for them whenever that happens. But as of now, I don’t really need to follow these two new characters in more installments even though it could work if done right.

And while Michael Chaves does a better job here, the film does have some pacing issues. When the film doesn’t focus on the Warrens, which is more than you think, LAST RITES becomes less interesting to watch. And the film isn’t remotely scary or creepy. I still think THE CONJURING 2 is tops with that due to the presence of The Nun. Having Chaves direct this film as if it were a James Wan film just makes you realize how much better Wan is at creating this kind of film. 

And out of the four threats, this cursed mirror is probably the least threatening honestly. Yes, it hurts some people and even emotionally traumatizes the Warrens due to Judy’s troubled birth during their first encounter with the object. And yes, the idea of having an evil version of your reflection attack you can be creepy. But it doesn’t do a whole lot until the last act of the film and is solved pretty easily by the end, all things considered. I think the lamp in AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES is more threatening.

THE FINAL HOWL

The best thing I can say about THE CONJURING: LAST RITES is that it’s at least better than the last installment, THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT by a good amount. LAST RITES is a more cohesive film with stronger performances by Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga and the rest of the cast. Wilson and Farmiga can play these roles in their sleep and they’re wonderful in this sequel. Michael Graves’ direction is light years better than the previous sequel, giving us James Wan-lite for the most part. And if it’s, indeed, the final installment of the main series, the film wraps things up nicely. 

But I felt the supporting characters [other than The Warrens] weren’t all that interesting enough to care about, the scares are barely there and it just feels like the same ol’, same ol’ with this franchise by this point. And considering how much money this movie has already made [and good for horror for raking in that box office cash this year], let’s be honest with ourselves - nothing about THE CONJURING: LAST RITES will be the “last” for this main series, as I can see Judy Warren and her partner Tony Spera becoming the main focus going forward. It’s a fine enough sequel but there will most likely be more. If you don’t believe that, I have a cursed mirror I’d like to sell you for cheap.

SCORE

2.5 Howls Outta 4

(6 out of 10)

Dangerous Animals (2025)

DIRECTED BY

Sean Byrne

STARRING

Hassie Harrison - Zephyr

Jai Courtney - Bruce Tucker

Josh Heuston - Moses Markley

Ella Newton - Heather

Genre: Thriller/Horror/Serial Killers/Killer Animals

Running Time: 93 Minutes

PLOT

A savvy and free-spirited surfer is abducted by a shark-obsessed serial killer. Held captive on his boat, she must figure out how to escape before he carries out a ritualistic feeding to the sharks below.

REVIEW

Many, many years ago, I would host an annual “Animal Summer” on this blog - highlighting some films that focused on animals doing some dastardly things. Besides October, it was probably my favorite part of the year for reviews because I’m such a sucker for animals-run-amok movies. But I’ve gotten away from it for a long while now, as I seem to only sporadically be reviewing things these days. But 2025’s DANGEROUS ANIMALS makes me want to reconsider, because this movie was more fun and sinister than I was expecting.

Jai Courtney [in probably what may be my favorite role of his] plays an Australian shark tour guide who, due to childhood trauma from surviving a shark attack, lures tourists in the middle of the ocean to murder them and feed them to sharks while videotaping the entire thing. One night, he kidnaps a young surfer [a game Hassie Harrison] who he plans on videotaping her murder. But she proves to be his biggest challenge yet, since she’s more predator than prey. While DANGEROUS ANIMALS may be marketed as somewhat of a shark movie, the title really refers to Courtney’s Tucker and Harrison’s Zephyr - two people who may be playing the predator and prey roles respectively, but are truly a match for one another in ways that they’re just as much sharks as the animals swimming in the ocean. 

Courtney steals every scene as the film’s dynamic and sinister villain. While good-looking and charming, the actor gives off right away that something is quite not right with Tucker. And the film wastes no time showing what a psycho he is, killing people on his boat and then putting a harness on certain victims to lower them with the sharks to see them get chewed up while he records it all on a camcorder. Tucker even watches the murders during breakfast, admiring his work as if he was Steven Spielberg. Courtney also has a memorable dance scene that I’m sure will be GIF’d to death.

Harrison holds her own against Courtney, playing a strong-willed young woman who refuses to be a victim. While a standoffish and kind of emotionally cold character, Harrison still manages to make Zephyr likable due to her intuition and willingness to do anything to survive. The moment Zephyr realizes she’s in a death trap, she does anything and everything she can to figure out her escape. Harrison gives Zephyr a lot of strength and manages to be as large of a personality as Courtney’s Tucker, despite the size difference. The two actors play perfect foils for one another.

I also liked the romance angle, as it actually enhanced the tension in the film. Zephyr’s one-night-stand [a charming Josh Heuston] is the only character who realizes she’s missing and uses detective skills to figure out her whereabouts before it’s too late. The discovery leads to a thrilling third act, which makes you root for the protagonists more than you probably already had.

DANGEROUS ANIMALS is directed by Sean Byrne, the man responsible for two awesome movies - 2009’s THE LOVED ONES and 2015’s THE DEVIL’S CANDY. Byrne shoots a beautiful film that’s dark, even if the cinematography is bright and colorful. Every frame, every character interaction, every chess move Tucker and Zephyr make against each other - they all matter and you’re rewarded at the end for how it all comes together. The sharks look great and the gore is pretty gnarly when it does occur. I appreciated the serious tone [for the most part], as a lot of modern shark films come across as silly or unrealistic. Byrne seems to have a lot of respect for these beautiful creatures and I appreciated it.

All in all, DANGEROUS ANIMALS is one of my favorite horror films of 2025 at the moment. It’s a simple, yet engaging thriller that focuses on the true crime aspect of the human cat-and-mouse game of survival, with sharks used as a plot device and murder weapon of choice. Hassie Harrison makes for a great Final Girl, while Jai Courtney is at his best here as a charming, yet demented villain that will probably gain some sort of cult status. 

SCORE

3 Howls Outta 4

(8 out of 10)

The WTF? Extravaganza Presents: Hurry Up Tomorrow (2025)

Directed By: Trey Edward Shults

Starring: Abel Tesfaye (The Weeknd), Jenna Ortega, Barry Keoghan, Riley Keough

Genre: Music/Thriller

Running Time: 106 Minutes

PLOT

A musician plagued by insomnia is pulled into an odyssey with a stranger who begins to unravel the very core of his existence.

REVIEW

From the trailers, I didn’t really know what to make of The Weeknd’s HURRY UP TOMORROW. The soundtrack, which was released months prior, was a fine album but maybe a bit too long. His HBO show, The Idol, didn’t exactly win me over enough to finish the damn series. Considering he’s one of the most streamed music artists out there and has accomplished more than most modern musicians have, I wondered why Abel Tesfaye would want to try his hand at acting when he doesn’t seem like that’s his bag. But then again, modern It girl Jenna Ortega and Oscar-nominated actor Barry Keoghan are helping him with this project, so there must be something to it, right?

With HURRY UP TOMORROW, I was expecting The Weeknd’s THE WALL or PURPLE RAIN - a sort of fictional autobiographical film about his life and career that would boost his musical artistry. Instead, we get like an hour of The Weeknd moping around and badly dealing with his addictions - music, drugs and especially women. Between performing for his fans and being enabled by his manager (Keoghan) who just feeds him drugs and boosts his ego to make sure he still has a job [and be Tesfaye’s “real” friend too, I guess - is he in love with Tesfaye? I don’t even know], The Weeknd is constantly on his phone texting or calling an ex-girlfriend who has left him. If The Weeknd was portrayed as a likable guy, this wouldn’t be an issue. But he’s whiny and lashes out when she doesn’t respond to him, especially while he’s high on cocaine. His ex dodged a bullet here.

During all this, we get Jenna Ortega’s character Anima, whose first impression is of her pouring gasoline in someone’s house and lighting it up into flames. She then evades cops, steals more gasoline and drives to see The Weeknd at a concert since she’s a huge fan. Obviously her toxicity shares in his, so a match made in heaven?

So with 45 minutes left, these two people finally meet and you feel relieved that the film is finally getting to its point. These two miserable souls will hash out their BS and find a way to move forward happier together. They connect and find solace in each other and it’s all nice and dandy.

Until it isn’t and the rest of the film becomes a ripoff of late-80s/early-90s thrillers like MISERY, FATAL ATTRACTION, THE CRUSH and so on. If it weren’t for the people involved, this would have played on a Saturday night on Lifetime with no one talking about it once Monday came along. Instead, this is just an embarrassing project for everyone involved. 

The only real positives about HURRY UP TOMORROW are the direction/cinematography [Trey Edward Shults has made better films and Chayse Irvin thankfully makes this film pop visually] and Jenna Ortega’s performance as a troubled young woman, which is breath of fresh air over the usual emo characters she’s been playing the last few years. The music is obviously enjoyable as well, so that’s another plus.

Barry Keoghan is wasted here and Abel Tesfaye needs to stick with music and let others handle the acting and screenwriting for his ideas from now on.

HURRY UP TOMORROW drags and stumbles towards the finish line with unlikable characters and a narrative that would have played out better in a shorter film or music video. If it wasn’t for the striking visuals, the music and Jenna Ortega’s against-type performance, this would have been a complete waste of time. The Weeknd is not a good actor and maybe should consider behind-the-lens work for his next project instead. If I wasn’t an AMC A-List member, I would have been severely pissed off if I had spent over $20 on this movie. I have a feeling Razzie voters will consider this one “Timeless” for next year’s nominations…

SCORE

1 Howl Outta 4

Superman (2025) & The Fantastic Four (1994) w/ The DTV Connoisseur (Episode 220)

In this episode, I joined Matt Poirier of DTVC Podcast as we look at the recent SUPERMAN (2025) movie and 1994's THE FANTASTIC FOUR film.

With the first one, we discuss our feelings about the film overall, then what this may mean for the balance of power between Marvel and DC, and also whether or not "superhero fatigue" is an issue now.

Then with the second film, we get stuck in on this Roger Corman classic (?). What works, what doesn't and how much it differs from comic book movies now.

Invasion USA (1985) w/ The DTV Connoisseur

In this episode, I joined Matt Poirier (the DTV Connoisseur) as we look at the 1985 Cannon classic, INVASION USA. Before that, we discuss Marvel Studios' THUNDERBOLTS* (recorded prior to its release), and where things are going for the MCU. Then with the film, we get into Chuck Norris as the hero, and then instead of doing a full walkthrough, we go over the many highlights.

Horror 101 w/ Dr. AC: STEPHEN KING'S MISERY (1990) AT 35 - STORIES & SLEDGEHAMMERS!! | HORROR HISTORY

(I recorded this awhile ago with a cool panel of people and forgot to share it. So here it is. Enjoy!)

MISERY (1990) d. Rob Reiner (USA)

Rob Reiner's 1990 psychological thriller Misery, based on Stephen King's bestselling novel, remains a masterclass in tension and suspense. Tonight, our panel of horror enthusiasts celebrates the unforgettable performances (James Caan, Kathy Bates, Lauren Bacall, Frances Sternhagen, and Richard Farnsworth), the film's themes of obsession and captivity, and screenwriter William Goldman’s breathtaking adaptation which retains the spirit of the source material while also changing key elements for the screen.

Foremost, however, we'll examine the dynamic between Paul and Annie, and how their complex relationship evolves under the oppressive circumstances, with Bates' Oscar-winning portrayal of Annie Wilkes balanced against Caan’s nuanced and atypical sensitivity.

Join AC and his awesome panel of guests (Jess Ader, Dodd Alley, Jordy Sirken, and yours truly) as we tap into the heart of Misery’s unsettling atmosphere and cultural significance. What makes Misery more than just a horror film? How does it tap into deep-seated fears and anxieties about fame, vulnerability, and fan culture? Be sure to bring your sledgehammers!

Horror 101 w/ Dr. AC: THE BEST (AND WORST) SLASHERS OF 1980!! | HORROR HISTORY

(I recorded this awhile ago with a cool panel of people and forgot to share it. So here it is. Enjoy!)

WHO WANTS TO TALK SLASHER MOVIES??? 

TITLES DISCUSSED: Friday the 13th, To All a Good Night, Terror on Tour, Don't Answer the Phone, Don't Go in the House, Prom Night, Terror Train, He Knows You're Alone, Mother's Day, Funeral Home, Christmas Evil, New Year's Evil

The 1980s were a pivotal year for horror films, and the decade kicked off with some of the most influential entries in the genre! Join our panel of horror experts as we discuss the origins, lasting impact, and evolution of the slasher, covering everything from the technical aspects to their cultural significance, changing the landscape of cinema forever. 

Key films such as Friday the 13th introduced the world to Jason Voorhees (and became a cultural phenomenon in the process), while Canadian offerings like Prom Night, Terror Train, and Funeral Home added their own unique twists to the formula, setting the stage for a wave of imitators.

We’ll explore the masked killer tropes, the rise of Final Girls, and how these films captivated audiences with their ground-breaking gore FX, suspenseful stalk and slash sequences, and unforgettable characters.

Whether you're a die-hard fan or a newcomer to the genre, our conversation about the blood-soaked slasher movies of 1980 has something for everyone!

The Monkey (2025)

THE MONKEY (2025)

Directed By: Osgood Perkins

Starring: Theo James, Tatiana Maslany, Christian Convery, Colin O’Brien, Adam Scott, Elijah Wood, Rohan Campbell, Sarah Levy, Osgood Perkins

Genre - Horror/Comedy/Supernatural

Running Time - 98 Minutes

Plot:

When twin brothers find a mysterious wind-up monkey, a series of outrageous deaths tear their family apart. Twenty-five years later, the monkey begins a new killing spree forcing the estranged brothers to confront the cursed toy.

Review:

Building upon the success he had with last year’s horror hit LONGLEGS, Osgood Perkins joins James Wan and Stephen King with adapting King’s short story, THE MONKEY. While LONGLEGS was meant to unsettle its audience with a supernatural true crime vibe [as well as an out-there performance by Nicolas Cage], THE MONKEY takes the opposite approach by making a dark joke out of its premise for laughs. The film’s dark humor approach towards the film’s death scenes and overall look on the idea of grief and moving on from trauma will most likely divide moviegoers expecting something more serious in its commentary. 

Personally, I had a lot of fun with THE MONKEY. While not as clever or sophisticated, the film reminded me of the FINAL DESTINATION series with its bizarre set ups to the demises of the movie’s characters. The use of a cursed toy monkey causing all this unpredictable chaos is a neat idea, although I would have liked to know more about its origins and why it was so intent on hurting people while growing attached to others. Maybe that’s in the short story, I don’t know.

The humor comes from the characters, who are extremely quirky and pretty much say whatever is on their minds without holding much back. Death is almost treated as a matter-of-fact joke that’s so messed up, you have to laugh about it. No one really takes any of the characters dying all that seriously. Hell, even a church pastor gives a sermon that feels more like a stand up routine than an actual eulogy. Even a montage of people dying within a week to unbelievable deaths is treated as something that normally occurs in this universe. While I’m sure many will not connect with any of this, I felt it made THE MONKEY an entertaining viewing experience. Considering how dark the world has been in 2025 so far, it was refreshing to smile and chuckle over the ridiculous ways people died and how others approached them. For a thin plot - it’s really just a toy monkey terrorizing twins over 25 years - it carries some important themes pretty well.

Osgood Perkins’ direction continues to impress. Great pacing and editing, the quirky tone maintains throughout, and the death sequences hit. THE MONKEY is a lot gorier than I was expecting it to be, considering Stephen King adaptations aren’t known for being gory horror movies. The use of both practical and CGI effects are used very well. And I liked that the film looked kind of grungy, yet popping with vivid colors [mainly red] for a lot of the film’s short runtime. His direction for LONGLEGS is probably stronger overall, but Perkins shows that he can be visually playful in terms of sound design and striking edits. It feels like a long episode of Tales From the Crypt and I enjoy that vibe.

The cast is also very good. Theo James has a great voice for narration, while also giving two different performances as twin brothers [one nerdy and the other more of a bully]. I thought he played both the introvert and insecure brother, as well as the more evil and deranged brother very well. Christian Convery plays his younger versions believably well also. I also felt that James shared nice big brother/father chemistry with the more grounded Colin O’Brien.

Always nice to see some familiar faces as well. This includes a wonderful performance from Tatiana Maslany as James’ quirky mother, as well from an almost unrecognizable Rohan Campbell as a young man who takes drastic measures to get his hands on the toy monkey. Also enjoyed the cameos by Adam Scott, Elijah Wood and Oz Perkins himself. Everyone seemed to be playing against type and having fun with it.

It’s bananas how my two favorite films so far in 2025 involve apes [I see you, Robbie Williams and BETTER MAN]. Looking forward to what Perkins brings us with KEEPER later this year.

SCORE

3 Howls Outta 4

(8 out of 10)