The WTF? Worst Films Extravaganza & The B-Movie Bungalow Presents: Shark Week (2012)

DIRECTED BY
Christopher Ray

STARRING
Patrick Bergin - Tiburon
Yancy Butler - Elena
Joshua Michael Allen - Cal
Erin Coker - Reagan
Bart Baggett - Holt
Frankie Cullen - Frankie
Valerie K. Garcia - Layla
Meredith Thomas - Francine

Genre - Horror/Thriller/Bad Animals/Sharks

Running Time - 89 Minutes


PLOT
Eight people, with a mysterious connection to themselves, have been abducted and brought to some mansion owned by a drug czar named Tiburon (Patrick Bergin) and his lady friend, Elena (Yancy Butler). Apparently Tiburon has an issue with his hostages and wants to feed each one of them to sharks in some capacity. But instead of just killing them right away, Tiburon has created a sick game in which each person must survive a series of shark-related challenges until there's only one survivor.

Jigsaw is not amused...


REVIEW
I have three words for SHARK WEEK:

WHAT THE FUCK!?


STORY
Screenplay: SHARK WEEK is one of The Asylum's many films, this time using the name of the much-loved annual Discovery Channel event in which the network focuses an entire week on sharks. Unfortunately, SHARK WEEK doesn't even come close to matching the epicness of the annual event it takes its name from. And a lot of that has to do with the screenplay.

SHARK WEEK is JAWS mixed with SAW - an evil mastermind captures a group of people with a connection, and decides to play a game with them - only this time with sharks! And... it doesn't live up to its potential. I mean, if you're going to use what SAW did [especially SAW II and SAW V, which both dealt with a similar premise], at least do what made those two films [at least II] work. Let there be a mystery of some sort. Have the villain be more interesting beyond such a cliche motive for his actions. And hell, have a decent story that will make audiences somewhat care about the characters and the situation they're forced into.

The mystery portion is pretty much given away during the first half hour. Tiburon makes his motives clear and the other characters quickly realize their connection to the situation. The fun about SAW II and even SAW V is the journey in trying to figure out why Jigsaw [or one of his apprentices] kidnapped a certain group of people to play the same game. Once it's quickly revealed before the film could really start, the interest level goes down. And if you're going to reveal pretty much everything sooner than later, at least have the revelation affect the dynamic of the characters and their relationships with one another. Sure, one of the characters is distrusted because of his knowledge of Tiburon and the situation itself, but it's never exploited enough. Why bother then?

The villains are also extremely lame. All they do is pretty much sit and watch the characters roam around and die from a computer screen while looking stoned. Nothing about Tiburon makes him compelling. At least his lady friend, Elena, gets to have a catfight with one of the protagonists towards the end of the film. And she seemed more vicious than Tiburon, which made her more interesting. But still, Jigsaw was interesting because he had a method to his motive and was somewhat "justified" in his actions due to his tragic past. Tiburon and Elena are just stock villains. You'll forget them once the film ends.

And the other characters aren't any better. All the hostages are stereotypes and somewhat stand out from each other, but you barely know anything about them besides names and professions. Sure, some characters are bigger assholes than others [especially one, who was probably the best character of the lot because I had a genuine reaction to him]. But they're pretty bland and don't participate in actual drama that feels genuine. And a lot of them makes the dumbest mistakes ever, which makes me lose all sympathy for them entirely. Plus, it's easy to guess who will survive and who won't. I just wasn't feeling the "character development" here.

Direction: Out of the three departments within the story, the direction was probably the best. I'm not saying it was great or anything. But at least Christopher Ray knows how to at least visually tell a story with enough visual style to make you take away your finger from the "Stop" button. The picture itself looks decent. Some of the editing is pretty inspired and cool, while some of it makes no sense [which sort of entertained me]. The CGI was pretty bad, but at least the sharks looked like sharks. I wish I could praise the murder sequences, but I'll get to that shortly. I also hated the shaky cam too that seemed to mimic SAW somewhat. But compared to the writing, the visionary aspect at least was more memorable.

Acting: The acting is okay in SHARK WEEK. The protagonists are nothing to write home about to be honest, but they're not terrible. The only memorable work in the film comes from Patrick Bergin and Yancy Butler. Bergin, who I thought was pretty good years ago in 1991's SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY, just looks haggard and drunk here. His eyes were bloodshot and he seemed disinterested. But at least he hams it up as Tiburon, giving me something to work with. As for the former Witchblade, Butler also looks bored and high. But at least she gets to be bitchy during a fight scene. But it would have been nice to have two actors who were more invested in their roles than Bergin and Butler were. I think they were as bored acting in SHARK WEEK as I was in watching it.


VIOLENCE
Since SHARK WEEK is a killer shark film, it's pretty obvious that characters get murdered by sharks. We get a hammerhead shark, a tiger shark, and the great white shark, of course. And while these sharks do chomp on their prey, we barely get to see anything of it. Instead, Ray decides to cut away from most of the violence, instead using a fuzzy effect that begins to turn red once a character begins to get mauled by the shark. It's pretty frustrating since I think it would have been fun and ridiculous to watch a human being get murdered by a terrible CGI effect. But we're even denied that. What's the point?

We also get a scene on a beach involving mines. Why would you have a minefield in a film called SHARK WEEK??? It makes Tiburon extremely stupid, as his mission to have these people get killed by sharks feels cheap. It really makes no sense for this man to put these people through hell if he's going to murder them all in one shot.

The only gore we really get is towards the end, where a mine does set off and blows up someone into CGI pieces. But other than that, the violence in SHARK WEEK wasn't satisfying enough.


SEX
No one gets shirtless. There are no bikinis. We get like 5 seconds of tame kissing. SHARK WEEK is pretty G rated in this department.


CHEESE FACTOR
Besides CGI sharks, and a moment where a character turns into CGI as he jumps 8 feet into deep water [I couldn't make that shit up if I tried], SHARK WEEK plays it straight. Too straight in my opinion. C'mon! Have fun with the story! Why is everyone so serious? There's nothing silly about this film at all! Are you sure this was made by The Asylum? The same people behind 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK? MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS? MEGA PIRANHA? Is this supposed to be taken seriously as it is? I was heavily disappointed that the film wasn't cheesier. Instead of laughing at it, I just felt bored. I shouldn't feel that way during a B-movie.


THE FINAL HOWL
The Asylum's SHARK WEAK, I mean SHARK WEEK, is a extremely boring B-movie that takes itself way too seriously. Besides unintentionally funny acting by a disinterested [and probably drunk or high] Patrick Bergin and Yancy Butler, and some decent looking locations, SHARK WEEK is barely a blip on any cinematic shark lover's radar. The Discovery Channel should sue the filmmakers for giving their annual event a bad name with this piece of crap. I would rather get eaten by a shark than watch this film ever again.

SCORE
0.5 Howls Outta 4

When Wrestlers Act: The Call (2013)

DIRECTED BY
Brad Anderson

STARRING
Halle Berry - Jordan Turner
Abigail Breslin - Casey Welson
Michael Eklund - Michael Foster
Morris Chestnut - Officer Paul Phillips
David Otunga - Officer Jake Devans
Roma Maffia - Maddy
Michael Imperioli - Alan Denado
Evie Louise Thompson - Leah Templeton

Genre - Thriller/Horror/Serial Killers

Running Time - 94 Minutes


PLOT
Jordan Turner (Halle Berry) is a 911 operator in the Los Angeles area. During a routine call, she learns about a young woman (Evie Louise Thompson) being burglarized and stalked by a strange man (Michael Eklund). When the young woman accidentally disconnects the phone with Jordan while hiding, Jordan makes a careless mistake and calls her back. This alerts the man, who finds the young woman and kidnaps her. Days later, it's confirmed that the young woman, identified as Leah Templeton, was found dead.

Six months pass, and Jordan has ditched the operating and is now a trainer for new potential operators. However, the Hive [the place where the operators work] receive a call from another young woman (Abigail Breslin) who says she's been kidnapped from a mall and is trapped in the trunk of the kidnapper's car. Sensing something similar, Jordan takes over the call and attempts to help the young woman survive the ordeal. When Jordan realizes that the kidnapper is the same man responsible for the death of Leah Templeton, Jordan takes matters into her own hands and decides to help Casey on her own terms.


REVIEW
THE CALL is one of the many released productions by WWE Studios - a company that honestly doesn't have that great of a track record when it comes to box office revenue, and/or quality when it comes to their movies. THE CALL is one of the several films this year [including DEAD MAN DOWN and NO ONE LIVES] that was released theatrically by WWE Studios, especially since the film starred Academy Award Winner Halle Berry and Academy Award Nominated Actress Abigail Breslin in starring roles. Putting real actors in the lead roles over the many WWE Superstars on their roster [although David Otunga does have a supporting role in the film] was the right move. THE CALL was a surprise box office success and is actually WWE Studios most successful film to date. And surprisingly, I can see why - it's not a bad thriller at all! Who knew?

HITS
- The acting. While not the greatest, the acting in THE CALL does help elevate the story somewhat. In her best role in years, Halle Berry actually convinced me as Jordan, a 911 operator trying to right the wrongs of her past. Berry usually annoys me, but I thought she was good here as a concerned 911 operator. Maybe it's due to the fact that Berry and the filmmakers actually researched the lives of 911 operators to make the role and film feel more authentic. While not award worthy or anything, I thought Berry carried THE CALL quite well.

I thought Abigail Breslin, who's pretty grown up by this point [time sure flies], did well as Casey. She mainly had to play a confused, frightened kidnapped teenager. But I bought her fear and confusion throughout the film. I also thought Breslin gave the character a bit more depth, as she wasn't totally helpless and continued to fight her attacker to the end. Breslin was pretty good.

The supporting actors, like Morris Chestnut, Roma Maffia, and even wrestler David Otunga did okay in their small roles. I honestly wish these three had more to do in the film, but they weren't terrible. I honestly thought Otunga, especially, would have a bigger role due to the WWE affiliation. I wouldn't have minded since he was much better than I expected.

The real star of the film, though, is Michael Eklund as the kidnapper/killer. This dude was creepy and intense. While the character wasn't new or anything, Eklund still crafted a chilling performance. He also has a face that just exudes horror - I honestly couldn't see this guy as a hero of any film. I thought he was great here, especially when he didn't even have that much dialogue and conveyed his performance through his body language and facial expressions.

- Brad Anderson's direction. Mostly known for his work in the underrated SESSION 9, Brad Anderson really crafted a tense, suspenseful film that kept me on the edge of my seat for much of its running time. The film looked great. I loved the snapshot moments before the killer attacked someone. The pacing was really well done, as the film went by pretty fast. But it's really the insane amount of tension within THE CALL that makes the film work better than it ought to, considering how generic a premise it is. Great moments, like the opening act with Leah Templeton, the whole ordeal with Casey in the trunk and trying to get help, and a scene in the final act where Jordan is hiding from the killer near his closet really elevate this thriller. The stakes were high for these characters and you felt definitely it. I actually cared about the characters and their safety because of how Anderson presented the film. If WWE Studios continues to hire filmmakers who can take a generic story and make it feel somewhat fresh, the studio will be around for a while longer.

- The premise. Like I mentioned, THE CALL really isn't anything new. It has bits of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS in it at times. THE CALL honestly could have been your Lifetime TV movie of the week if lesser actors were involved. Yet, the story still works because it has a focus that keeps you invested until the end.

I think the most novel aspect of THE CALL is seeing the story through the eyes of a 911 operator. It's obvious the producers and filmmakers took the time to research the environment and the terminology that 911 operators are surrounded with. I believed that Jordan was an authentic operator wanting to help a young lady stay safe. And watching a film where she's trying to take control of the situation by figuring out what's going on and helping the police catch this kidnapper was actually really cool. All you need to know about Jordan is what we actually see in the film. And through her heroic actions, we sympathize and root for her from beginning to end. Sometimes you don't need a character's life history to make them likeable. Have the character behave like a human being would in a serious situation like this is enough to make that happen.

I also liked the focus and shifting between Jordan and Casey, who share a relationship through the phone during this ordeal. They play off of each other really well, each boosting and motivating each other to achieve a common goal: Casey's survival. Casey could have been your typical whiny teenage victim. But she's written with a certain level of strength that makes her likeable and sympathetic. She does stupid things like all victims do while panicking, but still manages to have her wits about her and fight back.

Even the killer, who is written as a pretty generic "serial killer type", is written in a way that you're interested and fascinated by him and his motives. Like I said, his motives are fairly typical and nothing you wouldn't see on an episode of Criminal Minds. But at least he's presented in a way that makes him watchable.

I wish the entire run-time of THE CALL had decently strong storytelling, but I'll get into that shortly. But I can see why so many went to see THE CALL in theaters and bought it on DVD/Blu-Ray. It's a safe premise told from an unsafe perspective. It works way better than it probably ought to, which makes it pretty impressive.


MISSES
- Stock characters. While Jordan, Casey, and Michael are pretty strong characters, the rest of them barely register. Some of them would make you expect they should have more of a presence than they actually do. The biggest example is Officer Paul Phillips. He's Jordan's boyfriend and protector, yet the film barely does anything with the character. The character was the stereotypical boyfriend type, but more could have been done with him. If you're going to give the main character a love interest, follow up with it instead of abandoning it completely in the last 30 minutes of the film. He seemed and felt important to the story at times. Why ignore it?

Officer Jake Devans seemed like a decent character as well, with an actual personality and a friendship to Paul. But nothing is done with him either. And Maddy seemed to be Jordan's mentor of sorts, but she's pretty wasted as well. I'm not saying these characters should have deep character arcs. But at least make them feel somewhat more important within the story than actually presented.

- The predictable final act. THE CALL is pretty great for its first hour. Tense, suspenseful, well written, and even well acted. But it pretty much falls off of the rails during the final act. It's not terrible or anything, but pretty undermines everything that came before it.

I actually bought the first hour of the film. I could see a situation like this actually happening in reality. But the last half hour goes into the standard "main character locates villain and confronts him" plot we've seen millions of times before.

Would a 911 operator actually leave her post and confront a dangerous man to save a young girl? It's possible, but probably rare. Also, the killer had an actual family who had NO IDEA what he was up to. I guess I could somewhat buy that too, but the guy has done this sort of thing so many times that I find it implausible that his family was clueless about his demented behavior. From the way the killer was presented throughout the film, he was pretty socially awkward to the point where you'd have alarms going off about him.

And the actual last moments of the film didn't work as effectively as I hoped they would. I get what the filmmakers were going for, but it sort of fell flat for me. In fact, I've seen it done before and done much better to the point where it continues to resonate once the movie ends. I didn't experience that with THE CALL.

It's sad. I was actually disappointed by the ending of THE CALL. The film had such a great first 2 acts that I was hoping it would ride that way towards the finish line. But instead of ending with a bang, it sort of ends with a whimper instead.


THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE DIALING 911 ABOUT HOW HALLE BERRY STOLE HER ACADEMY AWARD

- Some caller shot himself while talking to Jordan. He must have watched CATWOMAN again.

- Jordan got a young woman kidnapped and murdered, after she redialed the girl's number while the killer was still in the house. I guess she was hoping for another Academy Award, this time in the "Biggest Dumbass In A Movie" category.

- Casey doesn't like to cuss. I see she took being LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE way seriously.

- Michael likes to listen to Taco's version of "Puttin' On The Ritz" during a kidnapping. It's hard to be scared of a man with such impeccable taste in music.

- Michael likes to chatter his teeth when upset or stressed. If crime doesn't pay, he'd make a decent Cenobite, I guess.

- Michael bludgeoned Alan Denado with a shovel. I guess he doesn't dig The Sopranos...

- Michael seems to be tortured and motivated by a tragic past with his sister. Man, that Curse of Thorn really gets around...


THE FINAL HOWL
While not perfect, I can honestly say that I was extremely surprised by how good THE CALL was. I didn't expect much of it, considering the studio behind the film. But it had better than expected acting [especially by Halle Berry], Brad Anderson's tense and suspenseful filmmaking, and a premise that felt both old and new at the same time. Unfortunately, the film falls flat during the final act and some of the supporting characters could have been used more. But overall, THE CALL is the best WWE Studios film since its inception. This is the type of movie they need to continue producing, not another MARINE or 12 ROUNDS sequel. This CALL is definitely worth redialing.



SCORE

3 Howls Outta 4

Orca (1977)

DIRECTED BY
Michael Anderson

STARRING
Richard Harris - Captain Nolan
Charlotte Rampling - Professor Rachel Bedford
Will Sampson - Umilak
Peter Hooten - Paul
Bo Derek - Annie Nolan
Keenan Wynn - Gus Novak
Scott Walker - Swain
Robert Carradine - Ken

Genre - Horror/Thriller/Bad Animals/Killer Whales

Running Time - 92 Minutes


PLOT
An orca and his pregnant mate are living their peaceful lives under the sea. That is, until, a ship captain named Nolan (Richard Harris) wants to hunt a killer whale after seeing the orca murder a great white shark [TAKE THAT, JAWS!]. During a hunt, Nolan shoots a harpoon into the female, pregnant orca. Not wanting her child to be raised in captivity, she self-aborts her pregnancy as Nolan and his crew capture her. When Nolan realizes what he's done, he's traumatized by his actions. Unfortunately, the orca has watched what Nolan did to his family, wanting revenge.

A biologist named Rachel Bedford (Charlotte Rampling), who has been studying the lives of killer whales, informs Nolan that the orca is almost as intelligent [maybe even more so] as human beings. She tells him that the orca is very monogamous and will want personal revenge if a loved one is taken away from them. While Nolan has trouble believing this, he starts to realize its truth when the orca begins sending him warnings by destroying the coastal region and injuring [and even killing] some of his crew members. The townspeople, realizing that Nolan is behind this, want him to grow some balls and confront the orca once and for all.

After realizing that the orca was a better family man than he was [Nolan's family was tragically killed by a drunk driver, but he didn't try to get any justice from it], Nolan decides to finally confront the orca - who leads him, Rachel, and a Native American expert of nature named Umilak (Will Sampson) to the polar caps for a final confrontation.


REVIEW
ORCA was one of the many films that jumped the success bandwagon of JAWS, which was the first major summer blockbuster two years prior to this film's release. And while Steven Spielberg's classic killer shark film is still a masterpiece and the best killer animal film out there, ORCA isn't all that terrible either. Don't get me wrong - it's not even in the same league as JAWS in any way. But it's not as bad as many claim it is, and tells its story marginally well enough to be memorable and entertaining at times.

HITS
- The cinematography. JAWS is a beautiful film in terms of its direction and its picture quality. While the direction is a bit uneven in ORCA, I do have to say that I love the cinematography here by Ted Moore. While the picture does get a bit grainy during the final act at the polar ice caps, the rest of the film is pretty stunning to look at. In particular, the underwater moments which were directed by Folco Quilici. I'm not sure of the ratio between shots involving real and fake killer whales, but these scenes were quite lovely to look at. It made the sea seem quite peaceful and the whales more sympathetic, as the beauty was ruined by human beings who wanted to hunt them down. I thought the settings were filmed well and the picture quality was top notch for the most part.

- The characterization of the orca. I think what sets ORCA away from JAWS is how the animals are treated in their respective films. JAWS was always seen as a threat - a killer great white who injured and murdered innocent victims because it could. Brody was the clear protagonist, as he wanted to save his town from the shark. In ORCA, it's very much the opposite. Nolan is clearly the antagonist, as he wants to hunt down an orca because he could, not realizing the consequences of his actions until it's too late. It's the orca, who's family was ripped away from him by a selfish human, who we feel for. In this sense, it's the killer whale that's the most human in ORCA.

ORCA, in a lot of ways, is pretty much Moby Dick - but done the opposite way. Instead of Ahab chasing the whale, it's the whale chasing Ahab. The orca is the one with the real story arc in this film. He's the first character we see in the film, along with his pregnant mate. It's his torment we feel as his mate is harpooned. It's his anger we feel when the fetus falls out of his mate, crushing his dreams of a family forever. We want this orca to get revenge on Nolan for destroying his peaceful life. Anytime the orca does damage to and around Nolan, we feel somewhat justified by his actions. The whale is the innocent in the story and should have been left alone. It's like DEATH WISH, but with a killer whale instead of Charles Bronson. An eye for an eye, right?

Honestly, the scenes without the orca involved are the slowest in the film because the other characters aren't as developed. I'll get to that issue shortly. The fact is that the orca is the protagonist of the film. The music that sweeps and swoons whenever he's around make the audience feel something for this creature. The actions the orca makes before and after his mate's death make him more human than any of the other characters in the film. We identify with this creature because he does what we all want to do in a similar situation. I'm not saying what the orca does is right, but it's definitely instinct and almost "human nature". Without the strength of this characterization, ORCA would sink before it could swim.

- The direction. While no Steven Spielberg, LOGAN'S RUN director Michael Anderson does a pretty good job visualizing the screenplay. While some shots look too grainy [as if the shots were zoomed in for some reason, creating a snowy effect] and some scenes are slow as heck [mainly any scene not involving the orca], Anderson still manages to direct a decent film that doesn't feel too much like a low-grade JAWS [which the film actually is].

Good moments include the action sequences, where Nolan hunts the killer whales, and anytime the orca attacks back throughout the film. I love it when the orca kills off crew members one by one just by leaping up in the air to either grab them, or knock the ship in a way that the characters fall into the orca's path. Bo Derek's scene where the orca rips her bandaged leg off is pretty funny. And the final act with Nolan vs. Orca one-on-one on icebergs is pretty neat. It's really silly stuff, but I was pretty entertained.

The best moment of the film is probably the whale burial at sea. It's truly a moving scene, as it's shot really well and accompanied by Ennio Morricone's romantic score. I honestly felt bad for this orca and it showed how human these creatures are in terms of how they treat their own. I have a feeling Tim Burton was somewhat inspired by this scene when it came to the Penguin's funeral in BATMAN RETURNS. I thought this was a great scene in which no dialogue was needed. The visual told you the entire story and you definitely wanted the orca to have his revenge after this. Anderson did a good job where it mattered.

- Ennio Morricone's theme. While not as good as John Williams' score for JAWS, Morricone manages to create a sweet, romantic score for ORCA. While the song "My Love, We Are One" is pretty freakin' cheesy during the end credits, it does sum up what the film was about and reflects the feelings of the orca. Not his best work as a composer, but I do feel the score enhanced the film.


MISSES
- The human characters. While the orca is developed pretty well for a killer whale, the human characters are cold fish. None of them are remotely interesting, or sympathetic enough to feel compassion for. Captain Nolan gets the most development of the humans, but even he isn't all that likeable. He feels a connection to the orca, since he too lost his family. However, he feels the orca is better than him because the orca is actually going after the culprit, while he didn't do anything after his family's death. And while we're supposed to see that Nolan and the orca are really one and the same, it's hard to sympathize with a man who won't confront his darkest fears, being an asshole to others as a defense mechanism. Plus, we barely know anything about him that makes him watchable for more than five minutes without a more interesting killer whale invading the scene.

Worse are the other human characters. Professor Rachel Bedford, while intelligent and beautiful, is just bland and cold as a character. Her narration, which just repeats what we've already seen and/or know, is pretty annoying. She's supposed to be a love interest for Nolan and they have no chemistry whatsoever. She's pretty vapid for the most part. The other crew members don't really make much of a mark either, except for Umilak, who is the philosopher of the group. But he's not in the film much to really make any sort of impact. It's pretty sad that the animal is more interesting than his human counterparts.

- The acting. Speaking of bland, at least the acting is consistent. Richard Harris is the best of the lot as Captain Nolan. He's not really great in the film, but at least he seems to care at times. He shows emotion during the scenes that really needs it, so he's not that bad. Unfortunately, Charlotte Rampling is very boring as Rachel Bedford. She's nice to look at, but she really doesn't make her character all that interesting to watch. Same goes to Will Samson [of ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST fame], who gives a monotone performance as the philosophical Native American. Bo Derek also makes her film debut here, but doesn't get to do much but get injured and then get her leg chewed off by an orca. Nothing all that impressive by the acting here, although Harris tries to make it work.


THE FINAL HOWL
While a JAWS imitator, ORCA is one of the better ones. While silly and ridiculous at times, ORCA also manages to be moving at times and entertaining in terms of the human-vs.-animal aspect. Ennio Morricone's scoring is beautiful. Michael Anderson's direction is inspiring at times. And the characterization of a sympathetic killer whale interestingly works for the film. While the acting and the human characters are left to be desired, there is still a lot to like about this different take of the "animals run amok" movie.

SCORE

  2.5 Howls Outta 4

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

DIRECTED BY
Ruggero Deodato

STARRING
Robert Kerman - Professor Harold Monroe
Gabriel Yorke - Alan Yates
Francesca Ciardi - Faye Daniels
Perry Perkinan - Jack Danvers
Luca Barbareschi - Mark Williams
Salvatore Basile - Jacko

Genre - Horror/Cannibals/Found Footage

Running Time - 96 Minutes

*Originally written for Guts and Grog's EXTREME WEEK*

 

I want to thank Tromeric for asking me to contribute to Extreme Week on his blog. I've always been a huge fan of Guts and Grog, so it's an honor for me to share something for his blog's awesome theme. When I read the word "Extreme" when it comes to cinema, only one film really stuck out for me. It's a film I've been wanting to discuss for a very long time, mainly because it's an oft-requested film for me personally from my readers. Plus, the film is so controversial and so well known that I honestly couldn't call Full Moon Reviews a horror blog if this movie was never discussed. It's a film I didn't want to watch again, but I did for this write up. It sickens me, while at the same time makes me think about the hidden social commentary underneath. It's one of those Video Nasties that really deserved the title and the reputation it gets within fans of the exploitation/horror genre. And that film is Ruggero Deodato's 1980 CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST.

There's a reason why I held off on CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST for this long - it's a film you can't really review like you could for any other film. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST isn't a film made to entertain its audience. As a matter of fact, it'll most likely do the opposite. But I always considered CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST one of those films that really needs to be seen, even if I wouldn't recommend it for entertainment purposes only. There's so much going on in it, that the hype and buzz around it is totally justified. Hell, you wouldn't have THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT or any found footage film that was released right after it without CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. It's historic for a reason - it's a film that truly deserves that tag line "Remember - it's only a movie".

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST goes down like this:

A group of four filmmakers go missing in some South American jungles [known as the Green Inferno] while shooting a documentary on a local tribe there. An anthropologist named Harold Monroe (Robert Kerman) is hired to lead an expedition to locate the filmmakers. While paying respect and speaking with two cannibal tribes known as the Yakumo and the Yamami, Monroe learns of the corpses of his targets. However, he finds some canisters of film, believing it's lost footage of the tragedy.

Monroe heads back to New York City to host a television special about the fates of the filmmakers, the expedition he took to find them, and the revelation of the lost footage. This exposure comes about due to the media believing that the filmmakers were tragically murdered by barbaric cannibals. However, Monroe and the producers of the special watch the footage, realizing that the true barbarians were the filmmakers themselves. They watch them rape, torture, and even murder some of the tribespeople - just to film footage that would look authentic for their documentary - only for them to receive the same treatment in return.

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is a film that's the epitome of the word "extreme". It's notorious for a reason - this movie is made to shock its audience with graphic visuals of torture, murder, and even the rape of innocent women. Ruggero Deodato filmed the film in Colombia, wanting the footage to look as "real" as possible to make audiences believe they were really watching legit carnage in front of their eyes. For a 1980 film, it pushed the boundaries of what could be shown in cinema, and probably boundaries in what's considered good taste as well. Hell, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is still an uncomfortable watch in 2013! If there was any film that belonged on the "Video Nasty" list, this film was definitely it.

There isn't much of a "story" in CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, but there is a plot and a message behind that plot. While the expedition story with Monroe is pretty interesting in a culture shock sort of way, it's really the faux documentary with Alan Yates and his crew that really make CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST the film that it is. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is a film within a film - not only do we watch the action unfold in horror and disgust, but so do Monroe and the producers of the television special at the same time. We are witness to four filmmakers who, while supposedly representing civilization and culture, pretty much degenerate into savages who hurt their subjects just for their own selfish pleasure and ambition.

It's really unsettling what these filmmakers do just to create a compelling film. They rape women. They make fun of the members of the tribe, looking down on them. They cut a friend's leg with a machete on camera, capturing every graphic detail. We also get a penis getting chopped off [pretty graphically, I might add]! The worst stuff is probably the animal cruelty [the real deal], which still gets to me even to this day. Watching a musk rat get gutted while still breathing is pretty chilling. We see a snake get chopped apart from a hatchet. A pig gets shot in the head while it's tied up. And probably the moment that makes me sicker than anything - a turtle being cut open right on camera, as its organs spill out in plain view. The turtle scene may be the only time where I actually wanted to puke while watching a movie. I think what makes it worse is that the actors are actually smiling, and even look excited, about harming these animals and these people. I get the intent when it comes to these scenes [killing and eating like the tribespeople do], but sometimes I feel Deodato took this a step too far. I'm not a member of PETA or anything, but I still find these scenes very disturbing to watch.

I think there are two reasons why CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST still resonates today. For one, the idea of savage vs. civilized is a thought provoking one. Even with laws, both moral and societal, man and woman can still act like monsters. At the start, we're supposed to identify with the filmmakers because they come from a civilized world where they're aware of right and wrong, only to get murdered in a barbaric world by people who act on instinct without any sort of consequence. Of course the tribespeople are the villains! They're not like us! Different equals bad, right? That's what makes the actual events in the film more shocking and appalling. It's these "civilized" people who are acting like the savages, doing terrible things to these tribespeople in order to make a great documentary - and probably because of ego and this idea of feeling superior to these so-called "primitive people". It's easy to accept these tribespeople as cannibals because that's their way of life. But there's really no excuse for these filmmakers and their actions. You start asking yourself who are the real savages here - the tribespeople or the filmmakers? Like in any zombie film, the monsters may just be the supposed protagonists themselves.

Also, I like this idea of doing extreme things for the documentary to create a level of sensationalism that's believed to be what the audience wants to see. It's like what we see on TMZ and in tabloid magazines. The greater the scandal, the more the intended audience wants to know. It's as if CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is trying to send a hidden message that filmmakers, or anyone who shoots things with a camera, are being exploitative. We film things not only to document them, but to manipulate the events in order to get some sort of reaction from our audience. Watching the footage, you can't help but notice the blurring of the lines of what's real and what's being manufactured. Are the filmmakers really like this, or are they just trying to make a shocking documentary? Are the filmmakers really this unaware of what they are getting themselves into, or are these events intentionally done to create some form of sick legacy? The moral dilemma is pretty thick here.

What helps everything is the fact that Deodato films the movie in a very gritty, dirty style. The scenes with Monroe are shot quite nicely and with more polish. But the found footage definitely has a documentary, low-budget, guerilla style that makes the events unfold in a way that you might actually believe what you're seeing if you didn't already know you were watching a film called CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. In fact, Deodato had to be put on trial, due to belief that the events in the film were indeed real. Deodato had to prove that the footage was fabricated by presenting the actors in the film as proof that CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST wasn't some sick snuff film. How many other films can lay claim to something that extreme? Not many that I can recall.

Honestly, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is a film I don't want to recommend to those who haven't seen it due to its graphic nature. But I do think one should take the time out to check it out just once in order to understand the controversy behind it. While it's easy to focus on the extreme visuals of animal cruelty and the gore that put it on the Video Nasty list, there's something really intelligent about CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. While I don't enjoy watching it, I do enjoy that it allows me to think about issues of morality and media sensationalism. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is definitely an extreme film and it was made to shock, but it's a lot deeper than that. And I believe that maybe it's worth investigating at least once in a lifetime to get the most out of the film.

SCORE

4 Howls Outta 4

The Conjuring (2013)

DIRECTED BY
James Wan

STARRING
Vera Farmiga - Lorraine Warren
Patrick Wilson - Ed Warren
Lili Taylor - Carolyn Perron
Ron Livingston - Roger Perron
Shanley Caswell - Andrea
Hayley McFarland - Nancy
Joey King - Christine
Mackenzie Foy - Cindy
Kyla Deaver - April
Shannon Kook - Drew
John Brotherton - Brad

Genre - Horror/Supernatural/Demons/Haunted House

Running Time - 112 Minutes


PLOT
Based on true events, THE CONJURING depicts one of the paranormal investigations conducted by Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga). This case, from 1971, involves Roger (Rob Livingston) and Carolyn Perron (Lili Taylor) - who move into a house they bought in Harrisville, Rhode Island with their five daughters. Even though they ignore warnings from their dog, who refuses to enter the house and would rather bark at it, the family soon realizes that their new home isn't exactly perfect. In fact, it's being haunted by some demonic entity that slams doors, create scary moments in the cellar, and even possesses people.

The Warrens, who are dealing with some issues of their own due to past investigations, decide to take the case and head to Harrisville to help. When they learn and confirm to the Perrons that the demonic entity is feeding off of their life force in order to possess the living [it wants to recreate past events through new bodies], the Warrens do everything they can to stop this evil force and save the Perrons from more trauma.

QUICK THOUGHTS
+ I really loved the cast, especially the actors playing the two couples. I've always been a fan of Patrick Wilson and he's great here as Ed Warren. The beautiful Vera Farmiga is probably a bit better as the haunted Lorraine Warren. I thought Wilson and Farmiga had fantastic chemistry and hope they both return for the sequel. As for the Perrons, both Rob Livingston and especially Lili Taylor are great in their roles. It's nice to see Taylor in a haunted house film that doesn't suck for a change [THE HAUNTING remake can blow me]. Plus, Taylor had the most to work with and she performed all like a champ. The supporting actors, especially the actors playing the daughters, were very good. John Brotherton, as Officer Brad, had some nice comedic moments, as did Shannon Kook's Drew. I think the cast was really good here and came across as completely believable.

+ James Wan does it again when it comes to directing a great film. I thought THE CONJURING was a step above both DEAD SILENCE [probably my least favorite Wan film currently] and INSIDIOUS [can't wait for that sequel]. While there was a lot of INSIDIOUS touches in this film, I thought THE CONJURING was filmed with more subtlety that was greatly appreciated. I loved that Wan took a fairly predictable premise and still managed to make me jump at times. The 70s look of the film was groovy, and the sense of dread was thick. I loved the demonic moments where the hands came out of the closet, jumped off of the closet, and the "Hide 'n' Clap" moments that made me chuckle. The film also had a lot of cool angles that never wore out their welcome. I think this was Wan's strongest film so far as a director.

+ While the story was predictable and you can see things coming a mile away, at least it's executed really well. The characters were interesting, inviting, and very likeable. Each character had a role and they all enhance the story forward. I also thought the paranormal story actually made sense, keeping the audience involved through smart details rather than focusing on some stupid, unnecessary twist. Even elements from THE EXORCIST, THE AMITYVILLE HORROR [which was a case the Warrens actually investigated], and even POLTERGEIST didn't feel forced. In fact, I thought these cliche moments added to the story due to making them feel fresh within the context.

I do wish we gotten more time with the Warrens, as most of the story was focused on the Perron case itself. Their lives seem incredibly interesting, and their relationship was so well told that you wanted to see more of them. I'm not too down on the lack of Warrens here since I'm sure THE CONJURING will become a franchise of sorts, which will probably allow the series to explore the characters a bit more.

- I hear THE CONJURING received an "R" rating due to its scares. The funny thing is that I didn't find the film fear-inducing. Sure, it was creepy at times. And some moments made me jump just out of surprise. But I never felt scared or anything. And the audience I was with laughed at the scary moments rather than being frightened by them. This doesn't hurt the film in anyway [I had fun with THE CONJURING], but I still don't understand why the MPAA rated the film the way it did.


THE FINAL HOWL
THE CONJURING continues a pretty good horror year so far in 2013. It's your typical haunted house/demon possession movie, but it works really well and will keep you entertained for two hours. The performances are solid, the story is well-told, and James Wan directs the film with a nice subtlety and detailed eye. I honestly don't have any complaints about this throwback to 70s haunted house movies [besides wishing it were a bit scarier]. Sure, it may be "unoriginal" to some. But it's not about the ingredients - it's about how you cook them.



SCORE

3.5 Howls Outta 4

The WTF? Worst Films Extravaganza Presents - Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)

DIRECTED BY
Shuki Levy
David Winning

STARRING
Jason David Frank - Tommy
Catherine Sutherland - Kat
Nakia Burrise - Tanya
Blake Foster - Justin
Johnny Yong Bosch - Adam
Hilary Shepard Turner - Divatox
Jon Simanton - Lerigot
Amy Jo Johnson - Kimberly
Austin St. John - Jason
Jason Narvy - Skull
Paul Schrier - Bulk
Steve Cardenas - Rocky

Genre - Action/Adventure/Fantasy/Family

Running Time - 96 Minutes


Like I mentioned in my earlier review for MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE, I used to be a huge fan of this particular 90s fad. The stupidity and silliness of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers grabbed me when my two cousins showed me the first season's "Green With Evil" mini-series that introduced Tommy Oliver, probably the most popular Power Ranger ever. For four years [three seasons of MMPR, a short stint with Mighty Morphin' Alien Rangers, and Power Rangers: Zeo], I stuck by this franchise through its ups and downs. As long as I got my half hour of watching teenagers, who looked thirty, calling for giant robots [called Zords] to fight off giant monsters each weekday, I was pretty satisfied.

However, things changed for me in 1997. While Power Rangers: Zeo took a while to really get going [I think the last half of the show was pretty damn good with the Gold Ranger stuff], I still stuck with the franchise - even though the phenomenon that came with it had pretty much died and ratings were rapidly declining. Then TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE was released in theaters. Not really a sequel to the previous film and more of an introduction to the franchise's fifth season, the film replaced the quite powerful Zeo powers with powers that were car-related. Not only that, but one of the Rangers was replaced with an annoying 12-year-old kid. And to top it off, the villain had to be one of the most annoying big bads that has ever been on any show.

Let's just say that my time with Power Rangers, besides watching some episodes of Power Rangers In Space and Power Rangers: Dino Thunder, had come to an end. The film was pretty much an insult to not only the fans who stuck with the show, but to the franchise that made the film possible to begin with. Or maybe I just grew up and realized that Power Rangers just didn't capture my attention anymore. Either way, I moved on to bigger and better things after the film's release.

However, thanks to Netflix and 2013 being the franchise's 20th anniversary, I've been watching all the seasons again. And since I'm up to Power Rangers: Turbo [ugh], I figured I would rewatch TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE. I hadn't seen it since 1997, so I figured maybe time would be kinder to it than my memories of the film were. Unfortunately, the movie is still a crapfest of epic proportions and shows that the franchise was on life support by this point and time.

PLOT
Some evil, melodramatic villain named Divatox (Hilary Shepard Turner) is the captain of a submarine filled with her minions. Wanting great power, Divatox wants to sacrifice people to some fire creature named Maligore - a creature Divatox wants to marry in order to rule the universe with him. The only way she can do this is to kidnap some wizard named Lerigot (Jon Simanton), who has a key that will unlock Maligore from his prison on an island called Maranthius. Divatox sends her minions after Lerigot, but they fail, allowing Lerigot to land on Earth and get the attention of the Power Rangers. Tommy (Jason David Frank) and Kat (Catherine Sutherland) save him and bring him back to the Command Center.

Before the Power Rangers can celebrate their victory, they learn that Divatox was one step ahead of them. Not only did she kidnap Lerigot's wife and child, but also two former Power Rangers - Jason (Austin St. John) and Kimberly (Amy Jo Johnson) - who she plans to sacrifice to Maligore due to their good spirits. Divatox wants a trade - Jason and Kimberly for Lerigot.

Zordon (Winston Richard) decides that the Zeo powers aren't enough for Divatox, for whatever reason. Instead, he has the Rangers "Shift Into Turbo" with their new Turbo powers and Zords in the form of cars. While driving towards and getting on a pirate ship called the Ghost Galleon, the Rangers learn that Rocky (Steve Cardenas) is no longer the Blue Ranger, as a 12-year-old named Justin (Blake Foster) has taken his place. The Turbo Power Rangers arrive on Maranthius, ready to stop Divatox from achieving her goal and hurting their friends.

Sigh...

REVIEW
I have three words for TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE:

WHAT THE FUCK!?

TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE is a terrible film. Yeah, you may think I'm nuts criticizing a film that's based on a television show that many consider terrible to begin with. But Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and Power Rangers: Zeo knew how to take the bad stuff and turn it into something so ridiculous, you couldn't help but enjoy yourself watching it happen. The Power Rangers franchise knew it was silly, which is why so many of us loved the franchise to begin with. But for every step forward, TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE takes three steps back. It's no surprise the main cast members would leave in the middle of Power Rangers: Turbo. It's no surprise this movie and the season that quickly followed almost ended the franchise for good. TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE is the point where the franchise truly "jumped the shark".

Before I get into the film itself, I should go into what TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE was originally intended to be. The movie was originally going to be three hours long. According to star Johnny Yong Bosch, the original script was supposed to be a logical lead-in into the fifth season [unlike MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE, this movie is canon with the television series]. There were supposed to be more supporting characters, a bit more character development, more action, and an explanation as to why the Rangers would switch from Zeo to Turbo power. Of course, the elimination of all these things is what makes TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE a failure.

While there was supposed to be a Mermaid character that Adam falls in love with, and a better explanation as to why Jason and Kimberly are even in this film [they were romantically involved to cause drama with Tommy and Kat], I don't really have issue that these plot elements were eliminated. I do, however, have issue with how matter-of-fact the switching of powers is. For those who don't know, the Rangers lost their Morphin' powers at the end of Season 3. Once Season 4 [Zeo] arrived, the Rangers received these crystals that would grow stronger in time, making these heroes more powerful than ever. Which is why I can't fathom why Zordon would want his heroes to GIVE UP their mega-powerful Zeo powers for quick driving lessons - I mean, the Turbo powers.

The original plan was for former Blue Ranger on the Mighty Morphin' team, Billy, to be the one who had created the Turbo powers as some sort of upgrade from their Zeo powers. During certain episodes of the Power Rangers: Zeo season, Billy would go away somewhere randomly without explaining what he was doing to the Rangers - therefore implying that he was busy creating these new Zords for them. However, actor David Yost had left Zeo [or was fired, depending on who you ask - long story]. So while Yost had filmed scenes for TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE [the film was made during the final episodes of Zeo], his scenes were cut out of the film, leaving no explanation as to the reasoning of the switch.

I also dislike the way the Rangers gain the powers as well. In previous power changes, the Rangers had to scratch and crawl to evolve as heroes. They had to go through a quest to gain their Ninja Powers. They had to find their roots as children to gain the Zeo Crystals. But here? Zordon makes them touch a game of Simon and they become Turbo Rangers. How fucking exciting.

As for the characters, there's no real character development at all. Not that one would expect that from a film called TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE. But what made the original team so popular was that each character was a stereotype that clicked when they all came together. Jason was the leader. Zack was the comic relief and dance man. Billy was the genius. Trini was the peacekeeper and Billy's translator. Kimberly was the hot Valley Girl. And Tommy was the evil-turned-good badass. This Turbo team has none of that at all. Tommy is past his prime at this point. Kat is a hot Australian and that's it. Tanya is her token black friend. Adam is the shy backbone of the team. And Justin - well, he's a 12-year-old kid! Not exactly characters anyone would be thrilled to see. It's no wonder the ratings for Turbo would slightly improve once this team [sans Justin] leave in the middle of the season. People were just bored by them.

And don't get me started on Divatox - the villain of this film and the rest of the season. She's definitely no Rita Repulsa or Lord Zedd. She's no King Mondo. And she's definitely no charismatic Ivan Ooze! This chick is whiny, annoying, and leading a bunch of morons to do her dirty work. Sure, she has great boobs [two of the few highlights of this film], but there's nothing about her that strikes me as threatening to anyone. Every hero is as great as their villain. And now I know why Power Rangers: Turbo failed big time.

You know what else doesn't work in this movie? The actual screenplay! My God, this has to be one of the most boring fantasy films I have ever seen. For a Power Rangers movie, there are barely any Power Rangers in it! We see them in costume once of twice within the first 40 minutes of the film, and then don't see them again in costume until the last 20 minutes! Instead, we have to watch Rocky injure himself in a really ridiculous way [who spin kicks out of a wrestling ring?]. We have to watch Zordon make a 12 year old kid into a Power Ranger because he figured out their secret [really Zordon?]. We have to watch the Power Rangers take a LONG boat ride towards their destination as they follow Divatox and her submarine [zzzzz...].

Speaking of which, why the fuck do the Power Rangers have powers based on LAND vehicles when their adversary is a WATER villain?????

*bangs head on desk multiple times*

God, this movie is terrible - even for Power Rangers.

The special effects for this film are pretty much in line with what the television show was doing. The Zords look like toys [CHA-CHING!], the monsters look like dudes in bad costumes, and Divatox has great breasts [did I mention that already?]. I do have to say that the battle at the end between the Turbo MegaZord and Maligore is pretty lame, as the Power Rangers take the guy out like nothing. So it makes the build up very pointless. Also, Lerigot looks absolutely ridiculous. The Muppets even laughed at how fake he looks. Honestly, I would have rather seen a guy dressed in a wizard costume than this...whatever it is. Sure, Lerigot is good for a laugh. But it doesn't really save the film at all. I dunno, guys - when I think of a Power Rangers movie, I would expect more out of it than what we usually see on television. That's why I liked MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE. Sure the CGI was pretty bad, but at least it was different for the series. The producers actually tried to present a movie that felt much bigger than anything that had come before it. TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE is been there, done that. There's nothing really special by how it all looks.

The direction by both Shuki Levy [co-founder of Saban Entertainment] and David Winning is what it is - made for television. There isn't much work done to really make the film feel more special. It looks like a 96-minute season premiere to Power Rangers: Turbo that would have been better condensed into maybe a three-part mini-series of some sort. The pacing is pretty bad, especially since much of the middle act is just the Rangers sailing on a ship, and Kimberly and Jason saving Bulk and Skull from drowning within Divatox's prison in her submarine. There's no effort into the visuals that make it stand apart from the actual series, which is unfortunate. The film probably would have sucked regardless, but at least some eye candy would have improved things done. Instead, it's just ho-hum.

The acting, again, isn't all that special. But there are some standouts. While I'm not a fan of Divatox, at least Hilary Shepard Turner seems to be enjoying herself in the role. She doesn't phone it in like the rest of her co-stars, which makes her somewhat tolerable and enjoyable. Also, huge mention must go to Amy Jo Johnson as Kimberly - especially when she turns evil. She was hot before, but DAMN! Something about those red eyes and that demonic voice turned me on. The acting was too terrible in this film. Pretty much on par with the actual show.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE SHIFTING INTO TURBO

- Everyone but Justin sang "Row Row Your Boat" on a school bus. The mom from TROLL 2 probably would have had her husband teach this kid some hospitality.

- Rocky did a spin kick so bad, he flew out of the ring he was training inside of. Someone's trying a bit too hard to be on Botchamania.

- Bulk and Skull crashed into Norman's Bait Shop. Get it? Norman's Bait? I think this film is what really murdered Mother.

- Divatox enjoys eating flies. Looks like Jeff Goldblum may be getting lucky very soon.

- Divatox took Jason hostage and dressed him up like a Sith. Or maybe they wanted me to rearrange the letters in "Sith" to perfectly describe this movie. Whichever the case, the Force is definitely not with TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE.

- Being a sacrificial lamb, Kimberly was turned evil after being sacrificed to Maligore. She may not be a Power Ranger anymore, but she still manages to tickle me pink!

THE FINAL HOWL
TURBO: A POWER RANGERS MOVIE is everything a Power Rangers film shouldn't be. It's not epic in scale enough. It's not action-packed enough. And the story doesn't really give anyone, including fans of this franchise, a reason to really care about the change in powers and the new characters that are introduced. Gekisou Sentai Carranger may have saved the Japanese franchise in Japan. But it almost killed the American franchise everywhere else. Just a really bad movie to support a really ridiculous season that has got to be one of the lowest points in the Power Rangers franchise. You'll definitely "Shift Into Turbo" with the help of the "fast forward" button.

SCORE
0.5 Howls Outta 4