5.19.2016

Nurse 3D (2014)

DIRECTED BY
Douglas Aarniokoski

STARRING
Paz De La Huerta - Abigail Russell
Katrina Bowden - Danni Rogers
Judd Nelson - Dr. Robert Morris
Corbin Bleu - Steve
Martin Donovan - Larry Cook
Boris Kodjoe - Detective Rogan
Niecy Nash - Regina

Genre - Horror/Slasher

Running Time - 84 Minutes


PLOT
Abigail Russell (Paz De La Huerta) is an unstable nurse who enjoys picking up adulterous married men, seducing them and then killing them on her off hours. A new nurse named Danni (Katrina Bowden) joins the rotation, capturing the eye of Abigail. Infatuated with Danni, Abigail wants her to herself - enjoying watching Danni argue with her boyfriend (Corbin Bleu), and slipping her a roofie at a club to have her way with her with another man. As Danni struggles to remember what happened to her, Abigail sets her sights on all the men in Danni’s life who act like disgusting pigs. Danni figures out what’s going on, confronting Abigail about it. Feeling betrayed, Abigail decides to make Danni’s life miserable by framing Danni for everything she, herself, has done.


REVIEW

The last couple of years have been a bit rough personally, leading to yours truly really falling behind when it comes to movies and even television. When your horror friends talk about how good these new independent horror films are and you have no idea what they’re talking about, you sort of question whether to give back your Horror Credentials Card. As I gain motivation to write reviews again, I decided to check out stuff I may have missed within the last few years. Unfortunately, not all of them are as good as I had hoped, as is with the case of NURSE 3D.

HITS
  • The film looks nice. Douglas Aarniokoski, who directed HIGHLANDER: ENDGAME, visually presents NURSE 3D in a very colorful way that hides the fact that this film is darkly comedic [or at least it’s supposed to be]. The hospital looks like it was lit for a strip club rather than a place to heal people. The streets are almost lit by neon lights at times. I’m sure it would have looked better in 3D [I watched it in 2D], as certain shots do appear to have been shot with that extra dimension in mind - although these shots are never distracting. I also thought the white hospital backdrop during the final act really added to the gorier and bloodier scenes that took place, especially as the crimson stood out from the cleanliness of the background. If not for anything else, NURSE 3D is a beautiful looking film that will definitely please the eye.
  • The supporting cast. I’ll discuss the lead actress later in the review, but I thought the supporting cast did well with the material they were given. Katrina Bowden is pretty good as Danni, playing it straight amongst the more colorful characters in the film. Her confusion and naivety is dead-on throughout, turning from a vulnerable victim to a woman who takes it upon herself to investigate the drama surrounding her and trying to stop it. Plus she’s nice to look at as well. Judd Nelson is pretty funny as a sleazy doctor. Wish there was more of him. Same with Martin Donovan, who played a sleazy psychiatrist. Corbin Bleu plays the typical boyfriend role, but does it well. Niecy Nash has the best one-liners as Regina, bringing some much needed comic relief to a film that considers itself a “comedy”. Nobody will wow anyone, but they did what they could.
  • The gore. NURSE 3D has some good violence that keeps you invested, even while you struggle through it. We get some implied penis slashing, car accidents, skin carving, arm sawing, scissors through eyes and throats, and so on. The final act, alone, is pretty messy in terms of bloodshed. Some cool stuff here.


MISSES
  • Paz de la Huerta. Most films are as strong as their leads, and Paz de la Huerta is pretty weak as lead character Abby. She just didn’t fit the role of femme fatale for me, giving off a vibe that was more socially awkward than powerful, vengeful woman who is in control of her actions. Her voice annoyed me, as if she tried to sound sexy like a phone operator, only sounding like a fool who has no comprehension of what she’s saying and how to say it. Her line delivery did nothing for me and her overall performance was flat and memorable for all the wrong reasons. I think a stronger actress could have really elevated the material, carrying this film along in a more satisfying way. Yes, de la Huerta is an interesting actress with a unique look and presence. But she belongs in a quirky, supporting role like in THE EDITOR, where she fit right in and stood out for the right reasons. She falls flat on her face in NURSE 3D, only proving how mis-cast she is. I could see that she was picked because they wanted someone bad on purpose. That’s fine if everyone else in the cast played their roles just as campy and terrible, which they didn’t.
  • The tone of this film. The premise for NURSE 3D is pretty great: A nurse with a messed up past who lures cheating men into her seductive web, only to murder them as a way to get rid of the ghosts in her past. She also has a bit of SINGLE WHITE FEMALE in her, becoming obsessed with another nurse who she feels could save her from being constantly haunted, only to lash out when these feelings are reciprocated. That plot alone was a reason I wanted to watch this movie for a while now. Unfortunately, the screenplay and direction has no idea how to tell it to an audience.
NURSE 3D is obviously a horror film since our lead character is a serial killer with some emotional issues towards adulterous men. It’s not really scary, but I can instantly see why it would fall within the horror genre. However, NURSE 3D is also supposed to be a comedy. And… I didn’t really laugh much. Niecy Nash’s character had some chuckle-worthy moments, but nothing about NURSE 3D made me bust a gut or anything, even unintentionally. I guess it wanted to be clever and witty about something, but it just made me look at the clock wondering if it was going anywhere. And if not, when was this film going to finish? I shouldn’t be feeling that way when there are some decent looking women on my television seducing men before murdering them. I should be getting some sort of kick from that. But I honestly didn’t really care all that much.

NURSE 3D is really confused as to what it wants to be, which pretty much ruins the film in my opinion. It wants to be exploitative, like a MS. 45 type of film. It wants to be, like I mentioned earlier, SINGLE WHITE FEMALE. It’s a female AMERICAN PSYCHO. It wants to be so many things, trying to force it to audiences that this is meant to be a cult film that’s not meant to be taken seriously - instead of letting the audience make it a cult film naturally. It tries too hard, which is a shame because the premise is so great and all the elements are there for it to work better. But I just felt bored, wondering why I even bothered watching it most of the time. NURSE 3D suffers from an identity crisis.


THE FINAL HOWL
I may be in the minority, but NURSE 3D didn’t do much for me as a whole. The film looks nice and I thought the supporting cast was pretty decent. The gore [CGI or not] was above average and I appreciated the scantily dressed ladies. But the tone was totally off, as the film really had trouble balancing the horror from the comedy [wasn’t all that scary or funny to begin with, honestly]. And Paz de la Huerta is an interesting actress, but she didn’t impress me too much here as the lead. Maybe NURSE 3D is a film that I could enjoy on a second watch under the influence of alcohol, but I won’t be making that appointment anytime soon.



SCORE
1.5 Howls Outta 4




5.17.2016

Midnight Confessions Ep. 93: "B&W 60's Exploitation part 1 of 2: Russ Meyer"


This month the MC Crew are taking a look at B&W exploitation flicks from the 60's. We're starting with two Russ Meyer classics; FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! and MOTORPSYCHO! (both 1965). Plus music by White Zombie, The Cramps, Motorpsycho and Steel Panther.











 


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5.09.2016

Captain America: Civil War (2016) [900th Review]

DIRECTED BY
Joe & Anthony Russo

STARRING

Chris Evans - Steve Rogers/ Captain America
Robert Downey, Jr. - Tony Stark/ Iron Man
Scarlett Johansson - Natasha Romanoff/ Black Widow
Sebastian Stan - Bucky Barnes/ The Winter Soldier
Anthony Mackie - Sam Wilson/ Falcon
Don Cheadle - James Rhodes/ War Machine
Jeremy Renner - Clint Barton/ Hawkeye
Chadwick Boseman - T’Challa/ Black Panther
Paul Bettany - Vision
Elizabeth Olsen - Wanda Maximoff/ Scarlet Witch
Paul Rudd - Scott Lang/ Ant-Man
Emily VanCamp - Sharon Carter
Tom Holland - Peter Parker/ Spider-Man
Frank Grillo - Brock Rumlow/ Crossbones
William Hurt - Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross
Daniel Bruhl - Helmut Zemo

Genre - Action/Adventure/Drama/Fantasy/Science Fiction/Comic Books


Running Time - 147 Minutes



PLOT

After Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) accidentally murders innocent people during a battle against Crossbones (Frank Grillo) and his crew in Lagos, the government steps in to keep the Avengers in line. Backed by 117 countries, the United Nations create the Sokovia Accords - a legal document that allows the government to supervise superheroes in order to make them more accountable for their actions. During a random run-in with a mother of an innocent victim who was murdered during the battle with Ultron, Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.) is in favor of the legislation. James Rhodes/War Machine (Don Chadle), Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and humanoid Vision (Paul Bettany) join Tony, while Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans) and Sam Wilson/Falcon (Anthony Mackie) are against it, not wanting to be slaves for the government.

During the disagreement of ideologies, the leader of Wakanda is murdered during an attack, presumingly by the Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan) - causing the king’s son T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) to vow revenge for his father. Captain America and Falcon go against the government, wanting to find Winter Soldier and help him find his way back - making them fugitives and antagonists of Iron Man’s squad. However, Captain America gains the help of Clint Barton/Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Scarlet Witch, and Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) - creating a war against Team Cap versus Team Iron Man. While the Avengers disassemble, Helmut Zemo (Daniel Bruhl) watches from the sidelines, happy with the results of his secret plan.



REVIEW

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR is the beginning of the MCU’s Third Phase - and boy, what a great start it is! Phase Two of the MCU was a mixed bag for the most part, only having CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY being the real two highlights during that run. But with a year where superheroes are battling each other due to differing philosophies instigated by an outside force [DC’s polarizing BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE had a similar premise - although I won’t be comparing that film to CIVIL WAR here], it’s nice to see movie studios allowing these fantastical figures being humanized to create entertaining stories. And while CIVIL WAR has small flaws here and there, it’s a movie that shouldn’t work on paper - yet it does amazingly well.

This is a spoiler-free review, so I won’t go into specifics of major sub-plots here. But I thought the screenplay by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely was very strong. I liked that this film was about superheroes having struggles with morality and philosophies when it comes to doing their job, or how they relate with their fellow heroes - rather than your typical “hero might fight evil villain to save the world” narrative. The characters, unlike in AGE OF ULTRON, were given dimension and flaws that everyone could relate to. I can understand why Tony Stark would want to sign with the government to control the Avengers, as the guilt of the things he has done in the armored suit are eating away at him. I can understand why Steve Rogers refuses, as he’s been following orders from people and was trapped in ice for 70 years - the dude wants the freedom to do his job and live his life. Hell, I can even see Thunderbolt Ross’ stance the deal, as well as villain Helmut Zemo’s way of thinking where it concerns his plan to “take down an empire”. Each character has their own motivation for joining sides and making decisions, no matter how large or how small their screen time may be. There was a lot going on here, yet I never once felt overwhelmed by all the sub-plots. It was all building to that final act, and I appreciated how it all ended. Sure, the stakes could have been higher. Maybe there should have been more casualties than there were. But I liked that the film took a different approach with the comic book narrative, instead of one that we were expecting. Yes, we get great action sequences. Yes, we get that silly comic book logic [or lack thereof]. Yes, characters get introduced on a whim. But that’s what I’ve come to expect from these films. And considering how the twenty-plus characters are handled here, the screenwriters truly succeeded here where others have failed.


Since I won’t reveal character motivations that may spoil the film, I’ll just discuss some of the characters I liked. I thought the Captain America and Iron Man dynamic was great, since it has been built upon for a few films now, but it really came to a head here. Yeah, it didn’t follow the comics all that closely, but I enjoyed both leaders of the Avengers having differing opinions on how to lead their team and where their true loyalties lied. Things also get personal by the final act, making you question which team [Cap or Iron Man] was the right team to stand with by the end. I can see why some felt the film favored one character over the other throughout the film, but I felt both Cap and Iron Man had their justification to do what they felt was right. The Winter Soldier also had his own interesting arc that took many twists and turns - making you dislike him at one moment, and then feel sympathetic because he’s been brainwashed into doing evil things. He’s protected by his best friend Cap, yet a target of Iron Man and the government - both sides easy to understand and justify. Black Widow was portrayed as the perfect double agent spy, playing both sides as she was torn between two men she respects. I’m sure her actions will lead to the solo film that seems to be coming up next for the character. Vision and Scarlet Witch’s comic book romance begins here, with Vision becoming more human while Wanda becomes more of a monster due to her inability to control her powers. The introductions of Black Panther and Spider-Man was fantastic. Black Panther comes across as a total majestic bad ass who makes decision out of emotion, rather than waiting to see what the facts were. Many complained that he just appeared in costume out of the blue without an origin, but that’s what a solo film is for. And Spider-Man was perfect here for the first time onscreen. Funny, awkward, and just naive and innocent - I thought he added a ton to the scenes he was a part of. All the other characters were written well too and showed why they chose the side they did in a logical matter that grounded the film very much.


My only real nitpicks in terms of characters were the villains, although they didn’t ruin the film for me - I can see how they would bring down the film for others, however. Crossbones, who was built up in THE WINTER SOLDIER, does get a shaft during the first act of the film honestly. Like I said, it didn’t ruin the entertainment value or hurt the narrative in anyway. But I wish more was done with the character. And Helmut Zemo’s plan may seem weak in terms of world-conquering villains like Loki. But I liked the quiet approach he took to tear the Avengers from within, even if you question how Zemo would have known his plan would have worked as well as it did. The real villains of the film were the Avengers themselves, with Zemo playing puppet master. Not exactly the most exciting character to watch on screen, but I understood why the character was written that way and once it reached its conclusion, I liked where it ended and where it could lead. This film wasn’t really about the villains, and I felt Zemo got enough screen time to justify his actions. Crossbones? Well…


Joe and Anthony Russo pick up from THE WINTER SOLDIER to outdo Joss Whedon in terms of direction a multi-character superhero film. While I praised AGE OF ULTRON during first watch, it’s a film that really doesn’t hold up as well as it should, weighed down by its own ambition and struggle to insert new characters and a villain that should have been more interesting and menacing than he actually was. Instead, he came across as a goof for the most part. CIVIL WAR has comedic moments, most of which work, but takes itself pretty seriously in terms of the conflict and the personal reasons why both the heroes and villains do what they do. The pacing is excellent, as this 147 film feels much shorter. The CGI looks great, especially Spider-Man and Vision. And the action sequences, especially the one in the building and the airport big battle, are done really well. In a lot of ways, CIVIL WAR felt like a comic book done to life. When certain characters did certain things taken from the comics, the entire audience cheered and clapped. This should have been AVENGERS 2 rather than the one we got. Visually pleasing and tonally satisfying. Can’t wait for the Russo’s take on INFINITY WAR.


I won’t really highlight every actor in the film, as there are way too many here. But everyone did a great job portraying their characters. Standouts? Chris Evans is Captain America by this point, playing the flawed boy scout whose idealism conflicts with the realism of the scenario he’s thrown into. Robert Downey, Jr. is still the perfect Tony Stark/Iron Man - cocky, suave, yet vulnerable. Elisabeth Olsen stepped up her game as Scarlet Witch, playing an insecure superhero who realizes she’s a threat that needs to be controlled, yet doesn’t want to be controlled. Chadwick Boseman was awesome as T’Challa/Black Panther. He carried a lot of presence and crafted a great first impression before his solo film. Tom Holland is amazing [pun intended] as Peter Parker/Spider-Man. He brought the humor and innocence of a teenage superhero. Paul Rudd was hysterical as Scott Lang/Ant-Man. And I liked Daniel Bruhl’s quiet intensity as Helmut Zemo. Just a really well acted comic book film that elevated the story.


THE FINAL HOWL

What could have been a convoluted mess, CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR is a well fleshed out comic book film that sets up an interesting Phase Three for the MCU. Well acted by everyone with a screenplay that allowed much needed character development for many of the superheroes, CIVIL WAR is a fun watch for its entire 147 minutes. I can’t wait for the Spider-Man and Black Panther films, as well as how the conclusion of CIVIL WAR will eventually lead to the massive 2-part INFINITY WAR. I may put THE WINTER SOLDIER and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY ahead of it at the moment, but I had a blast with this film and probably put it in my Top 3. The flaws didn’t hurt the film for me and just left me feeling like that teenage comic book nerd watching his favorite heroes battle each other over different philosophies and moralities. This film shouldn’t have worked, but it does - and I couldn’t be happier. My favorite film this year so far on an entertainment basis. Let the Summer Movie Season begin!



SCORE
4 Howls Outta 4


5.03.2016

Midnight Confessions Episode 92: "Around The World '16 Part 4"


In this episode our 3rd annual Around the World series comes to an end--and a very weird end at that. The MC crew take a look at HELL'S GROUND (2007) from Pakistan and THE BOXER'S OMEN (1983) from China.

Plus the final round of "How Much of an American Are You?" Who's the real American and who's the communist pinko meathead? Tune in and find out.











 


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4.26.2016

Midnight Confessions Episode 91: "The 3rd Annual Around the World: Part 3"


We get delirious with two Euro flicks; THE DEVIL (Poland/1972) and TRACKMAN (Russia/2007). Plus another exciting addition of "How Much of an American Are You?" These movies made us feel bad enough, the death of Chyna and Prince only added to the misery. Also, we end up acting our shoe size and not our age. Sorry, Prince.











 


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4.19.2016

Midnight Confessions Episode 90: "The 3rd Annual Around the World: Part 2"


The 2nd week of our Around The World series brings us to the U.K. and the Netherlands, as we take a look at THE FREAKMAKER aka THE MUTATIONS (1974) and AMSTERDAMNED (1988). Plus another round of "How Much of an American Are You?"











 


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4.13.2016

When Wrestlers Act: Countdown (2016)

DIRECTED BY
John Stockwell

STARRING
Nick Nemeth (as Dolph Ziggler) - Ray Thompson
Glenn “Kane” Jacobs - Lt. Stan Cronin
Katharine Isabelle - Julia Baker
Josh Blacker - Detective Al Kendricks
Alexander Kalugin - Nikolai
Michael Kopsa - Makarov
Alan O’Silva - Vladislav Pavel
Catherine Lough Haggquist - Lilly

Genre - Action

Run Time - 92 Minutes



*You can also find this review at That's Not Current*


For those who are subscribed to the WWE Network, there’s a program called Swerved that has WWE Superstars pulling pranks on each other. Think Punk’d with muscles. It’s a fun show, glad others are getting pranked and not me.

Unfortunately, WWE Studios wanted to change that and swerve all of us by releasing COUNTDOWN, their latest cop-thriller starring WWE Superstars and legitimate actors probably desperate for a paycheck. The trailer led me to believe that most of the film would take place during a WWE live event, having WWE Superstars interacting with other WWE Superstars playing police officers in a very surreal and meta way. Hell, Rusev pulls a gun on someone! Who wouldn’t want to see that film?

Well WWE Studios felt that audiences wouldn’t want to, giving us something more generic instead. Yes everyone - my name is Fred and I’ve been Swerved. Bastards…

PLOT
Ray Thompson (Dolph Ziggler) is an unhinged cop who is still haunted by the death of his child years back. While undercover, Ray busts a Russian gun runner (Alexander Kalugin) and his gang - not before shooting his partner (Josh Blacker) to prove himself. Because of this conduct, Ray is suspended for 30 days by Lt. Cronin (Glen “Kane” Jacobs).

The suspension doesn’t last long, as Ray has been targeted by a terrorist (Alan O’Silva) who has kidnapped a young boy and strapped a bomb to him. The terrorist gives Ray and his fellow officers a ransom of $2 million before the bomb’s timer runs out. Ray finds the terrorist at a WWE live event, killing him but with no sign of the boy’s location. With the help of Internal Affairs agent Julia Baker (Katharine Isabelle), Ray searches the city to stop the late terrorist’s countdown to destruction.

REVIEW
COUNTDOWN could have been a pretty cool film if the trailer was anything to go by. You have two wrestlers in Ziggler and Kane, who are pretty decent actors on WWE television. You have a set up where you’re led to believe that most of the film would take place at and during a WWE event. Add in some interesting action and hottie Katharine Isabelle, and you should have a winner. Unfortunately, the trailer is pretty much false advertising in a lot of ways, making COUNTDOWN less fun than it should have been.

Let me get the positives out of the way: The acting in COUNTDOWN is pretty good. Dolph Ziggler handles himself quite well in his first starring role, doing as much as he can with the material. And if you’ve seen him wrestle, you know he can handle fight choreography better than most. Glen “Kane” Jacobs is a highlight as the stern Lt. Cronin, having the best dialogue and seeming to be having fun in a role that doesn’t involve him playing a killer with a hook. Katharine Isabelle has nice chemistry with Ziggler, shining in certain scenes that allow her to show her chops. I thought COUNTDOWN was one of the better acted films in WWE Studios’ catalogue.

I also liked the action sequences. Sure, they’re not overly original or flashy. But I thought these scenes were some of the best shot, plus the choreography was pretty solid. I’ll never knock Ziggler (as Ray) super kicking a gun-wielding Rusev. That was probably the highlight of the film for me.

And then… there’s everything else. Where do I begin?

The script for COUNTDOWN is one of the more generic and predictable scripts I’ve seen a film have in recent memory. Usually, WWE Studios movies will take stuff from BATTLE ROYALE or DIE HARD to create their action films. I’m not even sure what COUNTDOWN was inspired by, as it’s all over the place with no real meat on its bones.

The main character arc, I’m guessing, is Ray Thompson wanting to save this boy (with a bomb strapped on him) to make up for the loss of his own son. There are moments in the narrative where Ray is clearly tortured by his son’s passing. He sleeps in his son’s room after reading a bedtime story to someone who isn’t there anymore. He’s reckless at his profession, not really caring about things anymore. The title, COUNTDOWN, is not just about the bomb but about Ray’s idea of how fleeting time is and how no one can change it. Unfortunately, there’s not enough of this aspect to really tie things together and/or make the narrative interesting. Plus, the bomb boy isn’t really a major focus, as he’s talked about, but never shown until the last few minutes of the film. I wanted more scenes with the kid, as that would have created tension and sympathy. But it’s never really about him. It’s about Ray trying to rid himself of the ghost from his past by saving the future of this child. There’s never a real balance between the two plot lines. That’s a major issue.

The script is also very generic, as it’s mainly rogue cops trying to solve a case by interrogating people. They also drive and walk through places to fill time as they search. It’s like watching a Law & Order episode, but with less drama and tension. I never felt as if there were any stakes when it concerned this bomb. Sure, people were going to die. But Ray and Julia Baker just meander around without any sense of urgency. It doesn’t help that Ray murders the kidnapper at the end of the FIRST ACT, instead making the gun runner the main antagonist of the film because Ray busted him at the beginning of the movie. The gun runner isn’t even all that interesting, as he doesn’t get much to do until the film calls for it. Hell, I forgot he was even a character until he showed up with his goons. That’s not good.

The real issue is that the potential displayed in the COUNTDOWN trailer is a slap to the face of those expecting a goofy 90 minutes. The idea of an action cop thriller taking place within an arena while a WWE live event is taking place is brilliant! Not only can you get quick cameos from the real wrestlers playing themselves during this situation, but you can have them interact with Dolph Ziggler and Kane playing different characters other than themselves. Hell, you could have had a scene with real Ziggler and Ray Ziggler interact with each other for a funny moment. But nope, you only get this WWE stuff for about 10 minutes at most. No wrestler cameos. No interactions between the wrestlers and the wrestlers playing actors. You do get that one funny scene with Rusev and Lana, which proves how great this film could have been if there was more of that. It’s a wasted opportunity. WWE Studios played it really safe here, giving us something we’ve seen time and time again. It’s sort of like the current product - stale and leaving us wanting more.

The direction by John Stockwell (Cougar from TOP GUN!) isn’t his finest work as a director. I’m guessing this was one of those “I’ll do it for a paycheck” deals where his heart wasn’t really in it. Like I said, the action is shot decently. And the movie does look nice picture quality wise. But the pacing isn’t all that exciting. And the editing is downright laughable.

There’s a shot where it looks like the tripod took a tumble, creating this tilt effect that didn’t match the scene at all. And the WWE live event sequence had me rolling with laughter at how badly handled it was. During the cop scenes, we get some B-roll footage of wrestlers warming up. Then we’re treated to clips of The New Day, The Ascension, and the Lucha Dragons making their entrances for a triple threat tag team match at a house show. But as the cop stuff picks up steam, the WWE footage takes this weird turn as we see shots of Brock Lesnar having his entrance at the Royal Rumble, followed by another shot of pyro in front of a Royal Rumble tron. So you’re telling me that this house show turned into a pay-per-view within the span of 7 minutes, with different lighting and different angles? I had to pause the film because I was laughing so hard. Let’s not forget that Ray brought a gym bag into the seating area of the arena, which would NEVER happen in a million years. What a mess.

THE FINAL HOWL
So COUNTDOWN - yeah, it’s a pretty bad film. Is it the worst WWE Studios film out there? No, as it isn’t as bad as THE CONDEMNED 2: DESERT PREY or INSIDE OUT with Triple H. At least COUNTDOWN has some decent acting and action going for it. But with a generic story that doesn’t add anything new or interesting, and editing that’s just laughable, I couldn’t possibly recommend this to anyone. Plus, what wasted potential compared to that surreal trailer that could have created a memorable wrestling B-movie if the entire film took place at a WWE live event (which it doesn’t). There’s nothing here to show the world.



SCORE
1.5 Howls Outta 4


4.12.2016

Midnight Confessions Ep. 89: "Our 3rd Annual Around the World Special begins..."


We kick off our 3rd annual Around the World series with RITUALS (1977) from Canada and GRAVE ROBBERS (1990) from Mexico.

Plus the guys play a game of who's the most American. America--fuck yeah!











 


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3.23.2016

Midnight Confessions Ep. 88: "Michael Sopkiw Triple Feature!"


This week we're taking a look at 3 movies that feature actor Michael Sopkiw.

...Who is Michael Sopkiw?

Well after this week's episode you'll know who he is. The three movies reviewed are: 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK (1983), BLASTFIGHTER (1984) and MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY (1985).

Plus the Rev gives us a listen to a track off the new Murderock album, Splatter Generation.











 


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3.04.2016

Midnight Confessions Ep. 87 - "2 dystopian pizzas with extra cheese"


This episode the MC Crew take a look at two of Enzo G. Castellari's post-apocalyptic cheesefests; 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS (1982) and THE NEW BARBARIANS (1983). The apocalypse was never this fun.

We also discuss the 88th Academy Awards, the new GHOSTBUSTERS trailer, and give our thoughts on the polarizing THE WITCH.











 


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